SMG4: Race for Freedom

Chapter 2: The Starting Line

The scene opens with an overhead shot of the track with all the racers preparing for the race in the Pit Lane being fueled up and having their tire pressures checked before transitioning to the studio booth with three iconic car show hosts as the presenters.

Jeremy: Hello and welcome to what is quite possibly the race of the century. For those unaware, I'm Jeremy Clarkson, and I'm joined as usual by my colleagues, Richard Hammond and James May.

Richard: Yes, and how we got here is a rather interesting story.

Jeremy: Now, when this whole situation started two days ago, we heard about it, but couldn't do much. We tried insurgency once and that didn't go well.

James: For him.

Jeremy: Yes, well, when we heard that this was going to be settled with a race, and that drivers from all over the globe were being invited, all three of us immediately wanted to partake.

James: Unfortunately, our boss, Mr. Wilman, decided that we weren't fit for a professional race such as this.

Richard: Well, at least half of the drivers cause chaos on a daily basis, what's wrong with adding a few more?

Jeremy: Hammond, you can't keep four wheels on the ground no matter what, we've learned that from Switzerland, and you're too short. After the first lap, you'd be on your roof, paramedics would be cutting your trousers off, and we'd see you in a week. And May, you can't drive more than 25 miles an hour.

Richard: Didn't he crash in a tunnel when we were in Norway because he was going too fast?

Jeremy: Yes, but I don't think he'll be trying to go fast again.

James: And why did Mr. Wilman say you couldn't participate?

Jeremy: ...He actually didn't say. But, I suspect it could have something to do with the fact I... don't meet the weight requirement.

Richard: You mean you're fat.

Jeremy: Yes.

Before anybody calls me out for that, these three are real people and this is how they act on camera.

James: It could also have something to do with the fact that you would probably come up with something incredibly stupid like strapping jet engines to the roof of your car and claim 'you're a genius.'

Jeremy: I am a genius!

James: What about when we were in America, and you thought it was a good idea to put a flying bridge on your RV?

Jeremy: In my defense, that RV was broken anyway. I just made it worse.

Richard: How about when we were in Africa and your brakes broke so you towed a log behind you for hill starts and it smashed through your back windscreen.

Richard tried not to laugh while Jeremy was indignant.

Jeremy: It was a good idea.

Richard: *Smiling* No it wasn't.

In case you have no idea what they're talking about, watch the Grand Tour: International Buffoons' Vacation, A Scandi Flick, and the first episode of season 2, as well as the Top Gear Africa special.

Jeremy: Anyway, let's not get bogged down with the scope of my brilliance because this race is rather interesting.

James: Yes, from what we can gather, this race will determine who controls the Mushroom Kingdom and its surrounding territories; Nintendo, or SMG4.

Richard: Yeah, and since Mr. Wilman said we couldn't race, he decided we should host the race.

Jeremy: Now, if we can pull up footage from our drone here, we can see the race making their way to the starting line.

The camera showed several cars of various designs coming out of the Pits, from F1 cars to NASCAR racing cars, to even cars that weren't designed with this kind of racing in mind as the song For the Glory by All Good Things began playing.

Better back down
You're in my domain

SMG4 pulled up to the front of the pack with Mario in the starting lane next to him and saw people cheering for their favorite racers.

Got the whole crowd
Screaming out our name

The Meme Guardian could see his old friend X, a Mario-recolor with green overalls and a light blue undershirt and cap, in the starter's stand and a familiar policeman with a white shirt and navy-blue tie and pants with a computer monitor for a head walking onto the track.

It's a blowout
It's a hurricane
It's over
Before you know it!

Richard: And here comes the appointed Safety Chief for the race. For those of you who don't know, that is Major Hal Monitor of the Mushroom Kingdom Police Force, and he's going to lay out the ground rules of this race.

Hal Monitor walked up to the track in front of the racers.

Why you shakin'?
We're a dynasty
In the makin'
We're the royalty

Mr. Monitor: Ladies and gentlemen, this will be a 100-lap race. The first fifty laps will be normal racing.

A few Nintendo characters groaned.

Now we're breakin'
Down the enemy
Move over
For the soldiers!

Mr. Monitor: The last fifty will have item blocks, after that, anything goes. But, for the first fifty, there will be no cheating, no backstabbing, no bumping, no road-raging, no launch control, no nitrous, and no vandalism.

SMG4: *Speaking Into Radio* You ready, Meggy?

Meggy: *Over Radio* Ready as I'll ever be.

Mr. Monitor: Ladies and gentlemen, START! YOUR! ENGINES!

All the racers revved up their engines and prepared to go. Saiko looked next to her to see Luigi starting up his kart's engine. She rolled her eyes and revved the mighty V8 of the Hellcat.

Take a swing
I can take a hit

Hamilton: Hey SMG4!

SMG4 looked behind him to Hamilton.

Hamilton: Good luck!

SMG4: Thanks!

Mr. Monitor left the track and X grabbed a green flag to start the race.

If we die
It's fine
We live for this

X: All right. On your marks! Get set! One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to... GO!!!

It's all for this

The flag dropped and the cars shot off like rockets. The race...had begun.