𝖳𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾 𝖮𝖿 𝖧𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾𝗇 | 𝖪𝖳𝖧 |

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚗 🥀

"I have no words. None, in my vocabulary that I know of can describe how I feel at this moment." My mother said, as my father turned on the engine. "How.. you feel?" I scoffed, lowly at her. "I told you I felt unwell but you had the nerve-" my father cut in before I could even cuss at her. "That is enough." he said, and I took a deep breath. "That priest is a good man, just like his father." he said, after a minute silence. "You were around when Old Father Kim was within church." I said, and he nodded, "Oh, I most definitely was, the most beautiful years for the church."

"It must've been hard for the family, such a great loss." I murmured, looking down at his biblical clothing wrapped around me. "Great, great loss." he replied, "I always give my regards by his grave. It is made beautiful by the town folk. Flowers, blankets, and hand made letters from the children."

"I have never been." I told them, "You will take me, please."

My mother went awfully quiet, but he nodded, "Of course, I will."

So, his father was a saint to this town. But what father had done to me wasn't Godly. I was pushing myself to believe that it was all a misunderstanding on my behalf. He was merely trying to clean me out of pity. I was a sobbing mess and in a menstrual phase, anyone would've shown their empathy. It was the sweat and his closeness which muffled my thoughts at that very moment, which is why I am so baffled right now. I couldn't remember clearly.

"I think I am too unwell for Mr Romano's event-"

"You will go." My mother finally spoke. I looked at her from the back of the car. "Excuse me?"

"You need to build on this relationship, Alora, it will mean a lot to us, and you can start by accompanying him to his fathers event." She told me, but I was far against it. "Father, say something." I pleaded, but he did not utter a word for he was with my mother on this matter.

"You are hearing after your own words, if I am correct." I said to her. "Father Kim, himself, told me to take some rest-"

"And you will." She responded, "However, after."

_______

I had broken apart the dying roses in my room and filled my bathtub with the brown petals. Some of them were red, but most were decaying already. I shut my eyes and rested my head on the edge of the bathtub, feeling the few petals softly bounce off my skin of my chest as my hands created gentle waves within.

My bloody dress was laying dead on my bathroom floor beside the sink. I am going to burn it after. I always brunt ruined clothes, particularly those ruined by blood. My blood.

I bent my knees and watched them rise above the water level before slowly rubbing the stains from my thighs. The warm water was helping with my cramps, I was in much less pain than I was in the church. I did not want to think of Church. Or the Priest. My mind was already flooded with intrusive thoughts and my heart was thumping for the event I was to accompany Alessandro to.

My mother was, of course, forcing me to go.

I did not want to tell Alessandro the real reason I felt unwell, but I also didn't feel like lying to him. He doesn't deserve that, and I told him I'd go.

There was a soft knock on my door and I opened my eyes again. "Yes, who is it?" I asked, and I heard Enzo's voice. "Alora, we need to speak." He said, and I felt relief from hearing his voice, knowing that he was finally here. But he also did not come to my Baptism in which he knew I needed his support the most, "We may talk after my bath." I told him, but I heard the door handle turn and open.

"I said, we need to speak, Alora." He repeated, and I rolled my eyes at him. His eyes flickered to my dress and he closed the toilet lid before sitting down on it. "Mother told me what happened." He mumbled, softly, and I looked down at the petals almost covering the entire first layer of the bath. "I'm sorry-"

"And that is fine, Enzo." I interrupted him. "Thank you, but unfortunately no words can reverse what happened to me in church."

"If it to make you feel better, I told them about Alanya."

My eyes snapped to his, "When?"

"Now, right now, before I came to you." He responded, but my brows drew together. "A-and what did they say?" I asked, and his eyes lit up.

"They want to meet her tomorrow. Mother seemed happy-"

My mood darkened, "It is so easy for you." I said, returning my gaze to the water. "All you have to do is speak a couple of words as the second man of the house and you'll have them wrapped around your finger." I scoffed.

"I will speak to them about your engagement to Alessandro." He then said, and I rubbed my face, "Enzo, you are ignorant!" I laughed. "I do not wish for you to speak on my business any more. I'll handle it."

He stood and I still kept my gaze on the water. "You will handle it?" He repeats. "Mother is already telling the town folk the news, have you not heard?" He almost mocked. "Her daughter, she says, is marrying the most wealthiest man in town, Romano. The fucking Romano name is circling around this damned town." He growled, and I looked at him with wide eyes. "Mind your language."

"You bled in church and you're worried about my language, darling." He muttered, standing, his hand roughly pulling on his black roots.

"Please, focus on Alanya, and your own marriage." I told him. "At least one of us will marry out of love." My eyes prick with tears and he knelt at the edge of the bathtub. "I dislike Romano, and will not let him have you in any way, sister." He said, gently. "I will keep you safe, your older brother is still alive."

"Thank you." I whispered, and he kissed my head before standing again. "Would you like me to dispose the dress?" He asked, before holding the door, "No, I will manage that on my own." I told him, and he nodded. "I'll be visiting the church to thank Father Kim myself for what he did for you." He added, before leaving me to be alone again.

______

Two hours later...

My mother helped me with my necklace, and my fingers caressed the small emerald. "Thank you for letting me wear this tonight." I said, looking at her through the mirror. "I want you to look pretty tonight. For him." She said, playing with my hair and my shoulders fell slightly. "And are you wearing a.."

"Yes, I am." I quickly said, stepping away from the mirror. She had put me in another dress, however, this one was a more of a cool toned beige. "Mum." I called softly, looking at her. She paused and I saw her tense when I called her mum instead of mother. They meant the same thing, but I used to only call her mum when I was little, I've been formal with her ever since I had turned fourteen. "Do you want me to get married to him?" I asked her, and I wanted her most sincere response. But I was given nothing, as expected.

"I want what is best for you, and he is that." She said, walking to my door. "Now, come, he is waiting for you downstairs."

I held back my tears and followed her out, Alessandro was waiting for me, again, at the end of the stairs like he was in the morning. He was in his formal attire, and the silk handkerchief in his breast pocket matched the colour of my dress. My mother's work.

"Take care of my daughter tonight, son." My father said to him, but their words were becoming muffled as I zoned out whilst walking down the stairs. I had this awful feeling. "She is my responsibility tonight." Alessandro answered, and his hand touching mine brought me back, "Shall we?" He asked, "You look beautiful."

"Thank you, as do you." I replied, as we left the house together.

"Beautiful?" He repeated.

"I believe, even, men can be beautiful." I told him. A man like Father Kim. His dark brown eyes, perfect lips and hair, his flawless skin that I ached to feel once more on my very own. My heart unfortunately did beat for him, but I wasn't sure if it was merely pure lust, or perhaps something much more that I wanted from him.

_______