back then

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Tugging at the strings of my youth,
So my heart might beat like it did back then
Colouring myself in every shade of blue
To feel that comforting loneliness again

Back when there was nothing on my mind
Except fiction and daydreams, inside
My head I was never me; I was better
I used to hold on to fantasies now I try to hold myself together.

And soon it will all be gone,
Flying into a night sky, resting upon
An abadoned building, bound to crumble and break,
Tattered from the flood, it dies with all my past mistakes.

And for the last time I'm tugging at the strings of my youth,
Imagining my frail heart beating again,
Trying on every shade of blue,
I'll never truly be what I was back then.

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