ᏆᎷᏢᏌᎡᏆᎢᏆᎬᏚ| jihyuckxoc

/35/

She's never felt peace like this before, it was peace mixed with anxiety and a handful of existential dread into the mix.

How did she allow herself to hate herself so much?

She was angry at herself and also at others. She should know how to defend herself. She lay in her bed with a tray of food beside her, lighter meals in smaller portions. In front of her rested her laptop with Ponyo re-playing.

The scene where Sosuke's mother makes magic ramen and hot chocolate has her tearing up for some reason... it reminded her of when she was a child when food was just food... and love was just love, just the simple joys of life without any complex grief behind it. When her name was simply her name.

Her name meant beautiful (Mei) and (Ling) twinkling of a bell or spirit.

How dare she allow someone to make her hate her name because she thought it didn't suit her? It was her name for heaven's sake, perhaps it took her to almost die to realize her stupidity at how she felt. She had four nights in the hospital to reflect.

But was it so bad that she wished she could be less insecure for once and look a certain way?

A knock came at her door, and it opened swiftly with her mother beaming at her.

"Hey, sweetheart. Are you okay with a few visitors coming in?" She asks sweetly.

Immediate discomfort shows on her face. "Did you tell people about me?" She was sad all of a sudden at the thought of random relatives visiting.

"No, of course not! I'm talking about your soulmates."

Immediately her eyes dart around her room to look for messes and when none is spotted she shakes her head. "It's okay." She could probably benefit from some sunshine and peace in human forms.

A few minutes later, they come in, as if they were thieves. They stand awkwardly until she gestured for them to sit so they make themselves comfortable at the door of her bed.

They presented their gifts for her and she smiled, genuinely thankful, the flowers looked so pretty. It was a little endearing how much Jisung blushed while handing it to her, remaining stiff afterward.

Donghyuck, as expected, got comfortable real fast. She came to learn that he preferred to be straightforward and not beat around the bush which she found extremely relieving somehow.

As Donghyuck got comfortable on her bed, he pulled out his phone and looked around as if he dropped something, turning to look at Jisung.

"My man, what are you doing all the way there? Come sit," he pats the spot next to him. Seorin's eyes widen at this and observes how he sits sheepishly at the edge of her bed. She feels a bit bad, knowing he was nervous so she opens her laptop.

"Jisung, look at what I was watching" She offers a courageous smile, albeit shy she watches his brows rise and it magically makes him less tense, moving closer to her.

"There are more Studio Ghibli films we can watch if you like, if that's what everyone wants," he side-eyed Donghyuck who was fixated on his phone.

"Whatever she wants." He answers without looking.

"Maybe for another time?" She suggests, finding that movies were much more fun at night and not during the day. He nods and seems fidgety, trying to get comfortable on her bed. She notices the tense atmosphere and sighs, realizing that she is the cause of it.

"You have something to say to me?" She asks. Jisung looks at Donghyuck who is now staring at her bed, zoned out and he looks back at her, pursing his lips.