Wildfire

Chapter 3

Lao; an honorific for people older than the speaker. Generally speaking, at least. Depends on context.

Laoshi; teacher. An honorific for people respected in their fields, not only limited to those in teaching positions.
_________________________________________

Tang Suoyan didn’t want to let his parents worry about him. He could do better than that; he was already an adult. However, while it was true that he and Tong Ning were still together, their present relationship wasn’t exactly healthy either.

Tong Ning didn’t return on this night. Tang Suoyan wanted to have a talk with him, but it was obvious that the other was unwilling.

Tong Ning was a prodigious cardiac surgeon and had returned to the country for Tang Suoyan. They had been together for many, many years.

Tang Suoyan was still young when he pursued Tong Ning, back in the seemingly neverending days of their medical studies. Tong Ning was a year under him. He was a very prideful underclassman; he was handsome, he was fair, and he was remarkable. Regardless, all of his impressiveness could hardly hold a candle to Tang Suoyan, who was practically a legend in their university. As a highly favoured student directly under Professor Xu’s tutelage, Tang Suoyan was brought along to observe every surgery and guaranteed a spot in any of his academic projects.

Tong Ning’s arrogance took a backseat in the face of Tang Suoyan’s advances. He didn’t keep him on the hook for too long, agreeing in less than two months. People weren’t as embracing as they are now to different sexual orientations. On that account, no matter how one looked at it, it was serendipitous for two similarly outstanding men to be so enamoured by each other.

A photograph of them was framed near the door, of Tong Ning hopped onto Tang Suoyan’s back, his smile radiant and disarming. That was the year when Tang Suoyan was twenty-three. Now, he was thirty-six. Through this time, they had fallen apart and made up, also separating several times.

Tong Ning once said: Breaking up hurt the first time; it hurt the second time as well, albeit less so. Rinse and repeat, and eventually you turn numb to the pain.

This was someone worldly-wise, who wanted to live comfortably and with confidence. There was once last year that he had a bit too much to drink. Without even changing out of the white shirt that he wore out, he wrapped his arms around Tang Suoyan’s neck. He buried his face into the hollow of his shoulder, and… he cried.

Adults didn’t seem to cry very much, like it was unbecoming to cry after reaching adulthood. Tong Ning had always conducted himself with poise, even before Tang Suoyan.

So, it had been many years since Tang Suoyan last saw Tong Ning cry. And that day, he had broken down, hard. Unsightly wrinkles crumpled his white dress shirt.

He said with his arms around Tang Suoyan’s neck, “I don’t want to be with you anymore, but I also… can’t bear to let go. Tang Suoyan, these years have just been torturous on us both. Being with you has made me… the most conflicted I’ve ever been.”

Tang Suoyan couldn’t comprehend the reason Tong Ning felt that their relationship was torturous, but one couldn’t seek truth in the words of a drunk.

And so he simply pressed a kiss to Tong Ning’s ear, coaxing him, as he always had.

Tong Ning was occasionally critical, scathingly blunt words rolling off his tongue like venom. But he wasn’t often this way; he also had his obedient moments—he always was when coming back to reconcile with Tang Suoyan after they separated. He would be docile and warm and compliant, admitting his faults and promising to make amends.

He was effusive in his apologies and hugs. He would sheath his claws and lower the proud arc of his chin, eyes curved in a smile as he said, Dr. Tang, forgive me. In Tang Suoyan’s eyes, they had never really separated; it was only Tong Ning throwing a tantrum on his own. After giving the cold shoulder for a few days, he would usually have sorted things out on his own.