Spare Love

17 | 𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘴

The guys went to talk about sports and I was left there listening to their experiences.My heart skipped a beat when I hear someone mentions my name behind me.

"How come you're so quiet Luke?" Gwen said.

"Yeah." Briar adds. "You and Milly would always be fighting and-" Briar starts to laugh but was cut off when Luke beams in frustration. "Geez. Didn't you guys wanted us to stop fighting all the time? Well here we are. What else do you guys still want." Luke sounded irritated.

"Luke." Noah cautiously said to Luke. Everyone in that table stopped talking until Kyle clears his throat, "I mean, yeah it's good."

I still think about the kissed every night. The fights and how he's so sweet to me. But now that's all gone.

"Foods here!" Adam beams as food starts coming in.

I sat there in silence, my mind suddenly comes flooding in memories. 

Please, not now..

I stood up, excused myself and headed to the restroom. This isn't happening..

I knelt down and locked the bathroom. Taking deep breaths and letting them out while counting from 1 to 10. I glance at my shaky hands attempting to stop it with my other hand, but it just gets worse.

My counsellor advised me to count from 1 to 10 while taking deep breaths and letting them out if I ever start panicking for no apparent reason.  Done.

I tried the second technique, which involved saying "You're okay" once every two seconds. And I gradually begin to relax and breathe normally. I lowered my head to my knees and took a deep breath. I stayed for a few minutes to make sure it stoped and I then left the bathroom.

Just breathe Milly. Just breathe slowly and calmly.

When I get back to the table there was nobody there. I start looking around for everyone when I feel a hand rest on my shoulder. I turn back, "What took you so long in the bathroom?" Briar appears worried.

I sigh in relief. I would have started crying if it was Luke..well I doubt that since I was the only who told him we should go back to being strangers.

"Just girl problems, don't worry." I make everything seem okay by grinning and laughing. But Briar didn't look too convinced.

She gives me a serious look. "I know you're lying." I wanted to defend myself but when she saw me stutter she quickly grabs my wrist and dragged me outside.

We walked to where nobody was at and told me to sit before she does the same. She shuffles and went to sit facing me.

"I'm your best friend and I can tell that something is bothering you. More you've been lying to me." She looked hurt and I feel bad for doing it.

"I've been waiting for you to talk long enough." She begged, "I can't have you going through this alone, Milly." When I turned to face the ocean, she held my hand and said, "Please, tell me what's bothering you."

I tried to stop the tears from streaming down my cheek, but I ended up crying uncontrollably.

"I-..hic. I just..hic.."

"Shhh.. Let it out."I felt her hand consoling my back.

I couldn't describe overwhelming I felt as I cry my eyes out on the beach with Briar who I hear sniffing beside me. She must of felt so bad that I had to hide things from her. She probably think I didn't trust her enough.

I'm sorry..

Everything wasn't new, yet... I ended up telling her the whole story from the very first moment where everything began. Everything began at the party. If I hadn't went... If I hadn't met..