The Devil Doesn't Bargain (MatD part 2)

Chapter THIRTY FOUR - I'm Home

(Start this one after the page break for intended influence)

(Transgender - Crystal Castles)

Gentle wisps of candle flame warmth dripped in heavy rhythm around the Room.

One flicker, 

two pops, 

one silent sizzling breath.

Our heated bodies had found comfort among each other, resting atop the few cushions we had managed to pull from the surrounding furniture and pile on the floor. Sebastian lay on his right side, hand propped up and pressing into his reddened cheek. I had nestled myself as close as I could facing him, my breathing slowed but my heart still leaping. My left arm was curled under a pillow and my head propped against it.

My lips tingled - kiss swollen and warm while Sebastian's rough fingers traced lazy lines across them and over my cheeks. His deep brown eyes followed the movement and if I looked close enough, there lay a miniature version of me - red cheeked and entirely unkept. Yet somehow, within his eyes, my features were softer, my smile brighter, my heart stronger.

Oh to be loved by a heart so pure.

How could I ever be deserving?

The scars of my touch on Sebastian's skin reminded me that I never would.

But perhaps I can try?

The longing in my chest had burned to a dull ache, waiting and pulsing through my body in anticipation for what I was to try the moment following his absence.

It was a terrible want to wish him to go, but a deeper need to want him to stay.

So I said nothing.

Sebastian, the empath extraordinaire, watched me closely. "What are you thinking about my cabbage?" His voice low, his stare deep.

I feared the impossibility of his understanding. "Nothing."

He tapped my temple and grinned gently. "That can't be true, there's smoke coming out your ears."

I rolled my eyes and swat his hand away but revealed nothing more.

Sebastian only grinned brighter, returning his thumb to my bottom lip and moving it up and down as if I were talking while speaking from the side of his mouth in a pitch entirely too high. "Oh I'm just thinking about this incredibly dazzling and unquestionably exquisite Slytherin whose dueling skills are positively wicked..."

I pulled at his wrist but he continued to move my lip as best he could, laughing through the rest of his utterly ridiculous impression of me. "...he's so handsome and always gives me a proper-"

I dipped my head forward sharply, finally pulling away from his grasp and hiding my face in the crook of his neck, smothering my giggles. His own laughter vibrated across my nose.

"You're ridiculous." I mumbled to his skin.

"I'm hilarious."

I pressed a quiet kiss to a cluster of freckles on his neck.

Sebastian took a deep breath in, a small shiver twisting over his skin.

"Barlowe..."

"Sallow."

One candle crackled in the distance.

"I hope by now you know you can tell me anything."

"I know." I nodded, letting the tip of my nose brush over little freckled constellations. "I just- have work I need to do, but-"