Paint me like I'm yours (wlw)

part 1

BEFORE YOU READ:
there might be a mixup between the name Kat and Rose. It is supposed to be Rose. I of course haven't edited it all properly and forgot that tiny detail before publishing the story again, I APOLOGIZE.

enjoy.

***

She had watched the sunset as she sat on her car, waiting for the night time to begin. She pondered whether or not it was a good idea to do what she was about to do, but eventually she caved in and made her way out of the car. Natalie sighed. Maybe she should have stayed home watching the Star Wars marathon on the cable.

She truly didn't understand herself, standing outside this bar full of life, when she felt like she had no life inside her. Perhaps it was just another one of her impulsive decisions that wouldn't get her anywhere.

Natalie had spent the past two years stuck in her apartment painting away the sorrows of heartbreak and healing, barely ever got out to do normal things like grocery shopping, once in a while she'd visit her sister... and now she stood here hoping to begin a new chapter by throwing herself to try.

Her comfort zone had begun to feel like a kind of purgatory instead of a place where she felt good, she was no longer sure what to do to make her life worth living. Sometimes it was easier to ignore the fact that she craved intimacy, she craved something deep and passionate, 'out of a movie romance', so to speak... something she never got to have with Rose.

Her green eyes shined even brighter under the neon lights that spelled the name of the lesbian bar Trip Advisor had directed her to. She thought of going somewhere else, but she had too many memories at the pub where she used to go with Rose.

Natalie gripped at her leather jacket, ran a hand through her wavy smooth red hair and made herself get inside the place. A part of her hoped she still knew how to be social. Hell, she was so desperate and repulsed for connection she even wore perfume.

Rose had befriended her friends when they were together, and eventually her friends preferred her, because she had a magnetic outside persona. She was funny and sympathetic. To their friends, Rose was warm and understanding... but to Natalie she could be heartless if she didn't get what she wanted.

Truly, she blamed herself for throwing away what she had had with Rose for a long time up until she began to understand it was all a lesson. Her ex was a narcissist, a dementor sucking the life out of her, driving her to hate everyone in the world including herself.

"What can I get you?" The cute bartender asked, taking her out of her constant thought. She had to be ten years younger than Natalie, for sure.

Hesitant she took a seat at the bar and bit her lip, trying to decide. "An Old Fashioned would be great."

"Alrighty," the blue eyed brunette nodded and began preparing her drink.

Natalie looked around. She had missed the diversity of a gay bar, the aesthetics and the way each person was so unique than the latter one. Her eyes spotted a nice looking woman across the dance floor... but quickly she turned away, realizing she looked a bit too much like Rose.

"Old Fashioned." The bartender drew her attention, putting the drink in front of her.

"Thank you." Natalie managed a polite smile before taking a sip. She hadn't had a glass of alcohol in two years, too, so after a second sip she felt like she might have to order a glass of water soon.

"Old Fashioned?"

Boom. Her night took a drastic turn.

She felt her heart stop for a nanosecond.