THE DEGREE OF HAPPINESS

24

After school, Zoya pounced on me as I was about to leave the classroom and asked, "Hey, wanna go shopping for Tina's birthday?"

Tina had taken a leave earlier that day. She said it was because she was sick but it was pretty obvious she left for her new niece and cat, Thalj. Oh, and Ishita had a part in that too. 

"We have to go to the tutoring center, remember?" I said, "How can we skip today?"

She shrugged, "It's just for today, darling." she said the last part in a posh voice, "We'll go back to normal tomorrow. But, we have to plan for Tina's birthday, right?"

"I can't. I have tutoring," I said. 

"So do I. But, we'll both manage," said Zoya. She began to pull me by the arm, "Come on, Ellie. Let's go."

I yanked my arm from her grip, "No means no, Zoya Ahmed! Don't force me to do things I don't want to do!"

Zoya blinked at my sudden outburst.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I really am sorry. I didn't mean..."

"I know, you didn't mean it," she said, giving a small smile. But her hazel eyes had lost the crinkle at their corners, betraying her hurt.

"Zoy...."

"We'll keep you on the loop," she said, turning away. "Fi Amanillah."

"Zoy...." I should have stopped her. But I didn't.

I just turned the opposite direction, to the second exit so as not to see her.

-----

I arrived earlier and managed to get the front seats. Other students were staring at me as they arrived too, but I tried to focus on the work Mr. Anwar had taught whilst I was absent.

A guy took a seat next to me. I didn't say anything.

Mr. Anwar came. We stood up and said our salam.

We sat down. 

My heart started to beat rapidly. The boy next to me moved his leg into a cross and I flinched.

I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose. 

A touch on my leg jerked me. I opened my eyes and gave a little scream.

Just a pen. A pen had fallen into my lap.

"Are you okay?" whispered the guy next to me. He wore the uniform of Green View Boys School: white shirt and green pants. He looked decent, but then again.....anyone could be a monster.

I nodded meekly, my lips trembling, so I didn't dare to speak.

Help me, please. Please help.

Mr. Anwar finished his lecture and he said something about a test. I didn't wait to listen. I quickly ran out of the tutoring center and back into the bed. I didn't change from my day's clothes and instead, got into bed with them. 

The nothingness in my dreams was welcoming. 

-----

The next day I went to school to find that Shezwa, Dua and Zoya were absent. Tina was the only one present but she was busy with her biology homework. I didn't disturb her, nor anybody else and instead got deep into studying.