Unforeseen change (CaitBea)

[8] Huwag malito!

Caitlin

After that, nagpatuloy na kami sa training namin and scrimmage that afternoon. Everything went well. 

It still bothers me though. 

Nang matapos na ang training namin,  Nauna nang umalis ang coaches at iba pang teammates namin. Si Reg, Maddie, Pongs, Bea ako at Deanna na lang nag naiwan. 

Deanna's with Ponggay and Reg. While iniwan ko muna si Bea kasama si Maddie.

I walked towards where Deanna, Pongs and Reg are. 

"Uhmmm Deans, pwede na siguro tayo mag-usap?" I asked. 

And she nodded. 

Reg and Pongs stood up and tapped Deanna's shoulder and left the two of us alone so we could talk. 

I can still see in her expression na hindi pa rin talaga siya okay. Pero kahit gano'n, I'll tryin my best to stay calm in this kind of situation.

I sat beside her. I actually don't know where or how to start. 

Buti na lang at siya na ang naunang magsalita. As the gentlewoman that she is. 

She looked into my eyes. 

"Cait, I'm really, really sorry. I didn't know that it'll go that viral. This is all on me. I should have been more careful. Kung napag-iinitan ka naman nila, ng mga bashers, it's my fault. It clearly is. Nadamay ka pa."  She said. I can feel a mixture of love and regret in her tone. 

I held her hand. 

"Darling, ano ka ba? Eh normal lang naman kase sa 'tin 'yong mga gano'n eh. Malay ba nating bibigyang malisya pa nila 'yon." I chuckled as I shooked my head in disbelief sa kalokahan mga fans. Finally, I saw Deanna smile again. "Tsaka i-bash man nila ako, I wouldn't mind. Sino ba sila? Para magpa-apekto pa ko sa kanila." I added. 

Deanna

I was so relieved knowing na okay lang si Cait. She's just taking this matter lightly. 

I just don't want any of the people around me, especially those that I love would get involved and be the target of bashing. Simula kasi when it was known to the public that Jema and I have broken up, Halos lahat ng ma-link sa 'kin are being bashed by some of our fans. 

And I don't want Cait to be their new victim.

And how I acted kanina, siguro dala na din ng init ng ulo because of what I saw earlier. I felt this twinge of jealousy and bitterness. 

I wasn't thinking straight. I overreacted. 

"And for sure this issue will eventually die down. Sa dami ba naman ng na sh-ship sa 'yo, sigurado na iba na naman mag t-trending na ship mo bukas na bukas." She said laughing. "Masyado naman kasing papi nitong friend namin ni Reggie! " She teased.

Natawa na lang din ako.

Friend. 

"Huwag malito." I murmured.

"Ha?" She asked. 

"Huwag malito darling. Like what I always say, 'di ba? Masyado na yata kase silang nalilito dahil sa kapogi-an ko eh" a reluctant smile tugged on my lips. 

"Korek! " She laughs.  "And we know kung ano naman talaga ang totoo eh." Sabi niya nang makarecover na sa pagtawa.

Silence...

Ang totoo? Ano nga ba?

This is going be harder for me knowing na maraming mata ang nakapaligid, watching us?

"I'm sorry ulit, Cait." I apologized again.

"Huy! Again, darling there's no need to apologize. Isa pa, kasalanan ko din naman. I let you hold my hand. Because I see nothing wrong with that. Komportable naman tayo. At hinawakan ko din naman ang kamay mo. At palagi kang nasa tabi ko the whole time, hanggang sa matapos 'yung event dahil ayaw mo lang na mag-isa ako and sobrang na-appreciate ko 'yon, D." She said sincerely as she placed her hand on mine.

I just gave her a nod.

Then puro tawanan na and kulitan na after.

I just realized, Caitlin always has this calming effect on me. Siguro dahil na din sa aura n'ya napaka-cool at tahimik lang na tao. She can handle her emotions so well. She's tough. 

I just enjoy her presence. I feel comfortable around her. I don't know but it feels somewhat like a home. 

Bea

As Cait and Deanna are talking things over at this moment, a mix of emotions  abruptly swirling within me. But one thing's for sure, I'm really worried. 

And I hate this feeling na I held Deanna solely responsible for what's happening. And that's so unreasonable, and absurd. 

That's entirely not fair on her part. I feel so guilty.

Alam ko naman na hindi n'ya ginusto ang mga nangyari. Iniisip ko din na may kasalanan din ako.

Hindi dapat ako umalis sa tabi ni Cait that night. I should have stayed.

And this issue is nothing new. Even up to this moment, I myself is still being linked to two former ships. 

And that somehow drives me up the wall every time.

Conversing with Reg, Madz and Pongs, while still collecting my thoughts didn't make these conflicting feelings I'm jumbling in my mind go away. 

After mag-usap nung dalawa, D and I have the moment to talk as well. 

She said she was sorry with how she acted earlier and that she could've done better. 

I also apologized kase I know, sila naman talaga dapat ang nagkausap kanina. I was just being protective lang naman. And sobrang nag-worry at the same time. 

And i-isa lang naman ang gusto namin, which is to protect Caitlin. 

But I can sense as our conversation ends, Deanna has something on her mind now. I can see na seryoso at malalim ang nasa isip niya. 

But whatever it is, I am so happy na everything has been sorted out. Nagka-ayos na kami ni D. 

Caitlin

It seems like okay na ang lahat. Nagka-ayos na din 'yong dalawa. Hindi ko gusto na ako ang maging dahilan ng gulo o away sa pagitan ng dalawa. They've known each other and they have been friends since their collegiate years. I won't be able to forgive myself kung ako ang magiging dahilan ng pagkasira ng relationship nila. 

When the two finally walked towards us, tumayo na din kami.

"So, ano? Okay na kayo?" Maddie

Tumatawa-tawa lang 'yong dalawa. Mukhang okay na nga sila.

"Ay, okay na nga silang dalawa" says Reg shaking her head.

We parted ways already. Bea offered so heto, sumabay na ko sa kanya. Si Deanna namna kasabay sa sasakyan si Reg and Pong. 

Maddie was fetched by her boyfriend, Zolo. 

Para iwas na din sa issue. Mamaya may makakita na naman sa 'min and will took aagain pictures or videos of us and that will be another trouble.

At Cait's unit...

Today is really exhausting. Dami din issues that needed to be talked over. 

As I was scrolling through my for you page on tiktok, There's this one post that had me raised my brows. 

It was Jho and Bea during the Angatleta while they're doing their Advice Serye. 

So, hindi lang din pala kami ni Deanna ang trending eh. 

I won't deny. I felt a sudden mixture of discomfort and green-eyed monster that wants to explode within me.