Pocket full of stars

13 [UDAY]

So many things happened in a day.

My heart soared to the heights of heaven and then fell to the depths of hell—all in one day.

Oh, it also got thrown about on a roller coaster ride.

I had some appointments and was considering who to meet first when I saw her from the corner of my eye.

My heart started to beat in my ears.

I painstakingly tried to look at her as subtly as possible but she caught my eye.

Sharp as ever!

I felt my heart feel proud of her feat.

Rahi was precious to me.

She wasn't just my love. 

She was more than that.

Talking to her, and seeing her smile, or get angry or be sad at times, Rahi was my relief back in school.

When any problem was hard to bear, I used to think about how Rahi would have handled the situation.

When my heart was sore and nights seemed endless, I used to think about what I would talk about with Rahi the next day.

She was the only girl I talked to.

Other girls were intolerant.

On the bus, I tried to strike up a conversation as a stranger but she had recognized me, right from the first glance.

Genius people have different kinds of brains, probably.

My heart danced with joy when we talked about various things.

I was so excited that I wanted to hug her tight.

She was utter bliss for me.

My arms ached with a longing I never knew existed.

I wanted to pull her close.

I knew that if I could hug her and shift my weight on her, I would probably go to sleep.

She is the home I always search for.

My heart stopped its dance and dropped into the pits of hell, like a stone falling into a lake.

You don't get back home with bloody hands, do you?

There was a moment of deathly silence in my head as I remembered that fateful night.

She would never accept me if she ever saw me in my madness.

Rahi was always thankfully, oblivious to my family history and my past.

I filled all the blanks with lies but the pain in my heart doubled with each passing second.

But it didn't matter at all in the face of her presence.

I felt a desperate urge to endure everything if that would make me a human in her eyes.

Finding it hard to hold back my rampant emotions, I forced myself to bid her goodbye for the time being.

It will undoubtedly be for the best if she is always kept in the dark.

She doesn't need to be in the chaos of my life.

I did not need to be in her life; she was safe the way she was.

We belong to different worlds and saying hello sometimes from one world to the other, was enough for me.