Pocket full of stars

17 [RAHI]

Secrets don't walk up to the door and present itself in a wicker basket decorated with flowers.

You need to seek them out.

I always tended to hunt for the darkness anywhere and everywhere because that is where the truth lies.

I remained in bed even when the sun was high up in the sky staring at the white ceiling and exploring the dark terrains of my mind.

There must be some secret.

Something that I want to guard like a venomous snake.

But...

Nothing.

There was nothing that I wanted to protect, guard or hide from the cruel world.

It felt so serene and empty at the same time.

So many things happened in my life and I am bearing the wounds, pain and fear of them on my mind, yet it felt like there was nothing.

I did not have a past and I was not looking forward to the future.

The present is here and I am existing in that moment without any complaint or discomfort and I am thankful for that.

I want the moment to freeze...the calmness and emptiness to halt and continue for eternity.

A knock on the door broke my reverie.

"Aren't you going to go to the office today?" Aunty's voice came from the other side of the door.

Well, that was my intention in the beginning but now I want to step out of the house.

Not getting any reply, Aunty went back downstairs.

I got down from the bed, freshened up, put on casuals and went down to eat something.

"Did I wake you up?" Aunty asked on seeing me.

"No, I woke up earlier. What's for breakfast?" I said sitting down at the table.

"What do you want?"

"Anything you will give," I replied sweetly.

She smiled.

I watched her walk into the kitchen.

Such tranquillity!

My heart trembled a bit before settling down into its natural work.

There is always a calm before the storm.

I looked out to the street.

Busy people going somewhere, cycles and bikes whooshing down, children chattering about toffees and candies while their mothers were following them in a group discussing their husbands—pretty world.

That peaceful world was not for me, a silent voice told me firmly, I did not belong there.

"It is good that you decided to stay in today," Aunty said bringing me a steamy healthy breakfast.

"Why?"

"A murderer is prowling around here. The maid told me this morning."

My brows furrowed up.

Again, the maid?

The last time a maid raised a hullaballoo about a snake, it was a hoax.

I remember that disappointment in my bones to this day.

I looked at my Aunty's worried face and pitied her for believing a maid again.

They are the best spreaders of rumours.

Their creativity knows no bounds.

"How does she know?" I asked cynically.

"The police checked their area yesterday and warned them against the murderer."

I shrugged and brushed off the tension my aunty was trying to impart.

I am not going to be a fool the second time.