Nick and Charlie fanfic. / Mpreg

Chapter 29: I'm not going to get better.

Charlies POV:

I wake up, Nicks arms around me. Today is the last day before I start my new job at Truham/Higgs schools. Nick starts to stir. "Good morning beautiful." He says. "Good morning handsome." I reply. We both stand up and walk to the nursery to feed the babies. After that is finished we go downstairs where Blaze joins us in the kitchen. "Hey blaze!!" Nick and I say happily. "Hello papa and Dada." He answers back. "What do you want for breakfast, we have Wheatbix, cheerios or cookie crunch." Blaze picks the cheerios because he loves cheerios. Nick makes it for him because I went to sit in the lounge. The sight of food makes me gag. Deep down I know it's my anorexia because of all the weight I put on during my pregnancys but I don't want Nick to worry too much so I just confessed and said it was my anorexia. As Blaze is eating, Nick comes over to me, takes me hand and leads us to our room.

"Charlie." He says. Shit shit shit. I know exactly what this is about. "Y-yes?" I say stuttering. "I love you so fucking much it hurts. It fucking hurts to see you so sad. Im not getting angry at you, I'm just making sure your really okay. I mean... you haven't made the kids lunches for days. Are you alright? We said we'd tell eachother things back in highschool."

"I FUCKING TOLD YOU NICK. I TOLD YOU. ITS MY FUCKING ANOREXIA. I GAINED TOO MUCH WEIGHT DURING PREGNANCY AND NOW IM A FATASS BITCH. THATS FUCKING WHY." I snapped. Not because of him asking.. I don't even know why. I just walk out of our room with my head down and walk into the bathroom and start crying. Probably the worst I've ever cried. Nick then knocks on the door gently. "Char.. I love you so so much, please let me in." He says. "You're mad at me, I snapped Nick. You probably hate me." I say "No my love. I promise I'm not. I love you so fucking much Charlie. Please let me in." He says. I open the door and he let's out a deep sigh. Probably because I didn't have a razor in my hand or blood all over my arms. Because thats just me. I'm the boy who self harms whenever the smallest things happen. Im the boy who just fucking overreacts about everything.

"Charlie..." nick says and kisses me on the lips. "I love you so fucking much Nick. I can't even use words. I'm sorry I snapped it's just because I didn't know what to do because I didn't want you to worry and then-" Nick just cuts me off with a kiss. A passionate, stereotypical Nick kiss. Obviously that's hard to imagine but it just felt so right. Nick does love me. I'm not going to ever get better and those are things I have to learn.

I am never going to get better...