STAY - Against The System | CHOSEN 2 (MINSUNG FF)

SIXTEEN

tw: the first part (until the *) contains depressive feelings and thoughts

2321.05.13

Did you ever feel like your heart is hurting so much that it almost burned a hole in your chest? The feeling of longing for something, for a place, a feeling, a person that you can’t have? The stings that the pain of the cold truth sent through your whole body, from your crying heart into every single cell? You feel wronged, you feel wrong. Incomplete. You want to cry until your tears fill every single river that dried out in the past twenty years.

Lee Minho had felt the same. But that time was long gone now. There were no tears left, after crying for hours, night to day, day to night. But life went one, as much as the young man wanted to stop the world spinning. The time was a merciless construct. It felt like yesterday when Minho had fallen asleep on the ice cold floor of Changbins balcony on new year's eve, eyes red from crying and fresh snowflakes in his hair. But it hasn’t been yesterday. Yesterday has been an irrelevant day, exactly the same as the day before yesterday and the day before that. They simply didn’t matter. As much as the calendar on his desk didn’t matter. Showing him that it had been over five months since the world had turned into a pile of shards. But Minho couldn’t care less. Fuck the shards. They didn’t bother him anymore. Even if he would walk over them with his bare feet now, he wouldn’t feel a thing.

Numbness.

The dull feeling, intoxicating his body, making him immune against pain. Against sorrow. Against love. Numbness was like the boy’s shadow now, always with him, waiting in the dark to drown every feeling in a gray mass of nothingness.

*

Jisung wiped away the beads of sweat that had traveled all the way down his face while training. His chin-ups looked way better now than only two weeks ago. Satisfied he chucked down some water before preparing for the next round.
"Voiiiid, are you done yet?" Steve sat on a bench not far from the completely spent boy, munching some kind of snacks while observing the other.
"Just one set left."
"You know, I'm starving over here. You better hurry up or there will be no dinner left for us."
“You're literally eating right now, Steve.” Void threw his now empty water bottle in the red head’s direction.

Void - the name Jisung had chosen for himself. One might think it doesn't fit the cute, slender squirrel-like boy with the big boba eyes but you know, things had changed.

Some weeks after the talk with Minho on the rooftop, Jisung had decided to move to the STAY base. Fangs and Red had assured him that he could live and train there but he still had to manage university and all the other activities that had formed his daily life before. To keep a low profile. And that’s what he did. 
Not far from the Safe Zone Void got a place to live in a two-bedroom. His roommate was a quiet dude named Cole who also visited the central university. This way Void has been able to ask everything he has been curious about, how to combine the rebellion and uni workload together. He usually only stayed in his dorm to sleep, the rest of the day he was training.
Every new member of STAY had to complete a basic training during the first three months. They learned how to fight, how to monitor, how to hide. They improved their endurance and responsiveness, learned how to bear with extreme situations and how to survive with nothing but a pocket knife and a protein bar. In special classes Mars, the incredibly smart right hand of Red, teached the new recruits the structure of STAY. Two days left and Void would be done with the basic training and ready to join a department to specialize.
No, that wasn’t quite right. He already was specializing. Close-quarters combat and martial arts.
On a typical day Void trained martial arts or let Y show him how to box, followed by classes around lunch and a training session by himself before eating dinner with Steve. Everything was scheduled perfectly with his university time table, it was tough but definitely doable if you remind yourself of your goal every day.

Freedom. Justice. Lee Minho.

Because Void still didn’t give up on him, he would never. Everything that he did at the Safe Zone, everything that he learned in fighting class, he did it for Minho. One day he would be able to protect his man, one day they would be able to live together again. And Void would never give up that hope.

Without realizing he had finished his last set of chin-ups. That was it for today. After dinner he would have to finish a hand-out for an architecture class, that would probably cost him half of the night. Void sighted. There it goes, his precious sleep.

The canteen was filled with people. Looking for an empty table Void scanned the room. None. A high pitched laughter echoed through the dining hall.
“Aaah, there they are! Let’s go!” Steve pulled Void with him to a table with two free seats. The other two were occupied by Blue and San. Yeah, guess who had laughed loud enough to be heard in Nine’s hacker-cave? Of course. The red haired man looked up to the newcomers. ”Oh, have a seat! Don’t y’all think Sannie here would look great with a lower back tattoo? Like a tribal, with some hearts in it?”
What? San hit his boyfriend with his spoon. “Shut up, it would be awful.”
“Please, I need you to lose in a bet so you HAVE to get it tattooed. I actually know someone who could tattoo you-”
“That’s enough you little brat.” A strong arm pulled Blue in a headlock. “Shut your pretty mouth or you’ll sleep in your own room tonight.”
“But I didn’t sleep there for ages! I think Yeo already thinks I moved out forever.”
“Then stay quiet.”

Dinner like this was normal. You never ate alone at STAY - there was always someone who would keep you company. Void was thankful for this. After three months these people started to feel like friends, some kind of family for the boy. They would never be able to fill the empty space in his heart but they make it more bearable.

When Void was about to shove the last spoon of stew in his mouth another man joined the round. “Void, Red wants to see you after dinner.”
“Thanks, Y. “
Blue’s eyes followed Y when the latter left the canteen. “Did anyone ever see him wearing something else than these boring, long coats? Bye, Void baby!”
Eating the last bit of soup on the go Void put away his tray and left the dinding hall in the direction of Red’s office.

“Ah, Void.“
The man behind the huge desk smiled warmly when he saw Void entering his bureau. His hair has gotten longer over the time, the upper strands of his black and white hair were tied up into a knot while the lower strands fell over his shoulders.
“Cap. What's up? “
“I have a mission for you. A small one, since it's your first.“
Excitement crawled through Void’s body but he tried to stay calm. His first mission. Finally!
“What is it?”
“Let’s sit down first.”

The two men walked over to the dark leather arm chairs. It felt like yesterday when Red had told Jisung in this exact place everything he had wanted to know about STAY months ago. And now he would get a mission. A real mission!

“Did you already meet Ace?”
Void nodded. Ace was one of STAY’s best coders. Steven sometimes talked about him since they work together a lot. Yet, they never had a conversation personally.
“He will visit one of the system’s CC data centers at the end of the month. I want you to accompany him as his assistant. This mission requires some preparations, you will receive a completely new personality for this job.”

Things are starting to get interesting - poor Minho, tho:/
Hope y'all feel alright! I am still on cloud nine, I attended one of the best concerts ever a few days ago~