From the Start (Reiner Braun X Reader)

11 [From the Start]

"How do I make you feel, Reiner?"

For a moment, all he could do was look at you. He felt that, if you had been sitting any closer, you would be able to hear his heart beating against his ribcage. The blood seemed to slowly rise to his face, warming his cheeks and the tips of his ears even in the cool outside air. It had felt as though the question lingered in the air for hours as he thought of a proper way to answer it. When the emotions began to build into words in his mind, his eyes seemed to dart from your face down to the water beside him, then back to your face. A smile came to him while he looked down at you.

"Like I deserve to be here," he said, voice low and soft. "We've, uh, had our moments in the past, but you make me feel so much better about being alive."

"Really?" Hearing those words come from Reiner's mouth was almost foreign. It was raw, you thought. You had always known him for being tough and showing little emotions. He was the most popular amongst your peers when the two of you were scouts, so there had always been a stigma around how he was expected to act. To see him peel away from that brought you to smile.

"Mhm," he nodded. "Sure, yeah, we didn't get along right at the start, and, later on, I thought we might die enemies, but by the nine, I'm so glad we didn't."

The sound of the bubbling water behind the two of you filled the silence that followed. What little breeze there was caused the air to feel much cooler than it actually was. The sun had finally disappeared from both of your sights, though it had left a light blue hue to remain in the sky. It was just enough to see out in the garden. Lampposts leading from the castle to the entrance of the greenery had switched on, illuminating the path the two of you would need to take to get out.

"You said something to me, [F/N]," Reiner started, eyes facing down at the cobble path. When you turned to look at him, he almost flinched. "When we met up by the pier, what you said kind of stuck with me."

Admittedly, you had almost forgotten what had been said that day, despite it not being that far in the past. For the most part, you remember the lantern festival, how the scene was almost textbook romantics. Though, walking away with a smile on your face had been what you took away from the long conversation that had been interrupted by the city's curfew bell.

"And what would that be?" You asked. Reiner seemed to hesitate, though quickly recovered with a smile on his face.

"You told me you were glad I would be able to live a long life. Now that I'm no longer the wielder of the armored titan, I," he paused, looking down at his palm. His eyes were full, though, of what, you could not tell. "I have a life to live. I thought that I was going to die this year, and, damn it, I think about it all the time. What if the curse hadn't been lifted and I would still be destined to die after thirteen years? That question used to plague me until you and I had spoken on the pier." His open hand closed into a loose fist before falling to his lap limply.

"Did our conversation knock it out of you?" You tried to keep the tone lighthearted as you bumped your elbow into his.

He grinned and looked down at you. "Might as well have. I thought that the two of us were never going to speak to each other again, let alone have a conversation like that. When we finally did, it sort of made a lot of the doubts I had go away. It was nice to get to know you, again."

"Well, I don't think I changed much," you tilted your head.

Reiner scoffed with a smirk. "You haven't. Not terribly, I mean. I feel like now we're able to really talk."

You could not help but let out a small laugh. The way he spoke about how he felt was refreshing. This was not the Reiner you once knew. In the way he talked, he sounded much more mature and seemed far more understanding. There was a lack of confidence in his tone when he talked about himself, however, which was different from years prior. When the two of you had first met, you remember hating that part of him. He was so cocky as a teenager, and it drove you insane. Now that he had grown, he seemed to shed his ego and become more of a people-person.