How to Survive (LGBTQ+)

Growing Up

Time is really weird.

I know how strange its sounds, especially opening up a chapter like that, but it really is.

The passage of time is such a strange concept to me because it's really profound. 

When I was

a young boy

my father took me into the city...

Okay, no. What I really mean, is that when I was a little girl, I could not wait until I got older and grew up, be able to go to high school, become an adult, etc. And now that I'm getting inevitably closer to this 'becoming an adult', I realize how much I wish I could delay it. 

For example: applying to jobs so that I can be productive, have these experiences on applications, and help me out in the future for college. 

This summer, I think I've applied to maybe 35+ jobs. Not kidding. I finally got a call back from a store, and I'll be having an interview soon, but it's kind of hitting me that this job won't only fund my social life but also hopefully leave me with a bit of money to help with books and tuition for college. Granted, it's an entry level job, and I'm new to it, so I won't have a ton of hours, but truthfully, I would work 40 hours a week if I could in order to help out my future self. College is crazy expensive in America, and I'm hoping to get into a number of elite schools, all of which have fun charging crazy amounts for their students.

Finances and debt worry me. In all my years of schooling, I don't know how to pay taxes, balance a checkbook, decide which credit card is the best, how to lower insurance rates, etc., but, don't you worry Mom and Dad, I can successfully graph a cosecant function and find where the graph is and isn't defined.

And that's nothing against math, in fact, I didn't mind that lesson at all, but there needs to be a mandatory life preparation class for students so that we aren't fucked when we all graduate and end up on the stool at some bar, drinking until we can't stand in an attempt to forget the crippling debt weighing down on us.

So I kind of just kept thinking about sure loans and stuff and realized I'd rather just give advice to people about school and other shit I have decent experience in, so voila. 

 AP classes, because I have experience with them and want you to do well in them: it's a lot of work. But take them if you believe you can handle it. AP classes mean that normally if you get a 4 or 5 on the AP exams in May you can get exempt from college courses and take higher level courses your freshman year. This is amazing because you can save money in the long run and have a lesser workload in college. Are the AP exams fun? Oh my god, hell no. They're three hours of torture per test, and halfway through you and your classmates decide on who to sacrifice so you all can get a 5, but it really pays off in the long run. Take AP courses in your strongest subjects. For example, my school has two AP english courses, AP English Language and AP English Literature. I took AP English Language last year, and I'm taking Lit this year. Last year, every single weekend I had to write an essay that would be collected on Monday, and let me tell you, it could be a total pain in the ass, but I can easily write quality essays in a much shorter time than before. You get a thorough expansion of knowledge with these courses, and if you love learning like I do, then you even occasionally look forward to the classes and the challenge. But, it's not easy. My classmates and I often had to take days off later in the year due to over exhaustion and mental breakdowns over our GPA's, course work, etc., and it wasn't uncommon to cry over tests and projects. Just weigh the options, I know I kind of trashed these classes, but believe me, you can do it. But always remember that mental health is important.

Going to a SUPER religious school: Just roll with it. I go to a conservative school in which we pray before every single class. If there is a god, they must be so goddamn tired of hearing us constantly speaking, because I know for a fact I would. Anyways, you're probably going to have to take several religious courses over your school career, and there's no way in hell your school will let you out of them. If you're not religious or generally disagree with what they think, this is what happens: You. Remain. Respectful. At all times. True, I dread religion class because yes, I definitely could do something more productive, but I at least will learn about a different lifestyle from my own. Last year, I took the course on morality. Abortion was considered a nay-nay, gay marriage is highly controversial in my school because only probably half or slightly more of the students support it, euthanasia is considered 'murder', and premarital sex is "going to send us all to hell". A lot of people in your class will be religious, and maybe you won't know the prayers or customs, but that's okay, especially if you're in the introductory courses, because they're bound to teach them to you. You'll learn what a tabernacle is, and all five books of the Torah and the prophets and if it's a Christian school, about the New Testament and the plethora of books in there. It's okay to voice your opinions, but you can't attack others, ESPECIALLY if your opinion is not the official one of your school. For example, I argued for pro-choice even though my school is very pro-life, and I had to be very careful to not offend others while still getting my point across. Just, be respectful. That's what's important. You can do it as long as you're considerate.

Getting lost: If you're new to your school, you'll probably get lost. Don't worry about it, it's like an initiation. People may cut you off and run into you (especially if you stop in the middle of the hall and just stare longingly around you as we all push past you and mumble something under our breath) but seriously, take your time. The teachers are only really nice to us during the first few weeks of school or so, and they get it if you get lost. I remember I once almost cried because I was late (yes, really), and my teacher just smiled at me as I ran in, panting, before heading directly to my seat. 

Okay, this chapter was all over the place, and a complete hot mess, but I hope maybe this helps with what's going on in my mind right now. Go pet a dog and treat yourself today, you earned it. 

xx