You said Forever and Always

Chapter 6

Zayne

We dealt with death and dying a lot in medicine. We dealt with uncertainty, loss, and guilt. We dealt with multitasking and rapid decision-making. We dealt with humans and human emotions.

But nothing could have prepared me for this. Naina's gut-wrenching tears. She had lost somebody, but he wasn't dead. While I understood grief and bereavement, I didn't see her progressing beyond the initial stage of grief. I felt lost, unsure of how to support her. Now, I understood why her parents brought her home, but how could I care for her? Would she be able to complete her course? As much as I loved Naina, I despised Advik for what he did to her-for hurting her, cheating on her, abusing her, and convincing her that their relationship was love.

I had put Naina to bed and gone up to the terrace. Umma looked at me suspiciously. She generally had good instincts. She had warned me against marrying Naina but had conceded upon my insistence.

I dialed Maya's number.

"Oooh! You finally remember me after marriage," came Maya's teasing voice. "Did all your dreams come true?"

I knew she was being playful, but I felt a tinge of annoyance. I shook it off. I had called her for help.

"Is Naina in danger of hurting herself?" I didn't bother with the niceties and got straight to the point.

"Why?" she asked after a pause.

"She's very... depressed." I didn't know how else to put it.

Silence.

"Maya?"

"Yeah, Zayne, I told you she wasn't okay," she began. I remembered calling her when Naina had agreed to marry me. She had warned me that Naina wasn't in her right mind and that I should wait a few months. But I hadn't listened. I cared for Naina. I always have cared for her. If there was any chance of marrying her, I would. And I would do it again before I let her go back to that creep who didn't deserve her.

"How can I help her?" I asked her. I couldn't change the past, and I didn't want to. But I needed to know what to do now.

"Just be there for her. Don't try to make her fall in love with you," she advised.

"I wasn't going to..." I started, but she cut me off.

"She needs to process what happened and accept it. I think she has adjustment disorder with depressive symptoms." She gave me her professional opinion, and I smiled. Maya was amazing. I was lucky to have her as my friend.

"Will she be able to get over it?" I asked, voicing my fears.

"Humans are resilient. Time heals everything." I relaxed.

Maya was a psychiatry resident, and I trusted her opinion.

I vowed to be patient with Naina.

Meanwhile, my texts were full of congratulations. Some of the interns we had worked with together sent messages like "I told you so!" or "I knew it!" I smiled. When Naina and I had worked together, people had always assumed we were a couple.

Naina would be okay. She was strong. If anyone could get through this, she could.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this," I said. I was in a supply closet with Naina. It was during my final year of General Medicine residency. Naina was in her first year, and we were going through the Delta surge of the COVID-19 pandemic.

"They're just coming here to die. Alone." I took my gloves off and wiped my eyes. I had my N95 mask on but had taken off my protective gown. We had lost four patients today, two of them middle-aged women with children in their teens. We had to break the news to their families, listen to them shout in anger or cry in disbelief, and witness their grief. Today had been too much.