You said Forever and Always

Chapter 11

Naina

As we reached Thiruvananthapuram, Zayne's hometown, I noticed a change in his demeanor towards me. Had the magic of Kumarakom dissipated, or had something transpired to cause this change?

We walked into the house silently.

"Asalaamu alaikum," his mother greeted upon seeing us.
"Alaikum salaam," I responded.

"I saw all your pictures. Looks like you both had a lot of fun?" she inquired. Zayne had sent her pictures.

"Yes, we did," Zayne responded.

"What kind of fun?" came a voice from behind, and Zayne looked at his cousin in annoyance.

His mother disappeared into the kitchen, saying something about tea. As the daughter-in-law of the house, I knew I was supposed to follow her.

As I made my way into the kitchen, I heard Omar ask Zayne, "So, did you pop her cherry? Swipe her V card?" followed by his laughter and Zayne's continued silence.

I returned to the family room with six cups of tea. Zayne's father and his other cousin, Omaya, had also arrived. I served them the tea and sat down next to Zayne. He moved away slightly but perceptibly. It was clear to me that something had changed. Was it because of what had happened last night?

Last night. It had played on a loop in my brain while we were in the car. He had kissed me-not on my lips, but all over my face. His touch had been so gentle and restrained. I had felt comfortable and cherished. It hadn't felt sexual to me, even though his arousal had pressed against me.

His kisses and touches were like chocolate- amazing and perfect when he touched me. But afterwards, guilt consumed me, leaving me with the need to wash it all away. Like I had done something bad or wrong for momentary pleasure. I couldn't purge it out of my system the way I did chocolate.

Advik's words haunted me.

"If you choose him, life would be so easy. I feel like I am the obstacle in your love story," Advik had said.

"Adi, I promise, he is just a friend. It's you. You are everything to me. I could never feel for anyone the way I do for you," I reassured him.

"So can we expect to become aunts and uncles soon?" Omar teased, his words cutting through the tense atmosphere.

"You sound like a broken record," Zayne snapped, his irritation palpable. "Can you just stop asking us about this?" His raised voice surprised me; he was usually composed, even under stress. But when I reached out to comfort him, he jerked his arm away. Something was definitely wrong.

I had never lied to him. I had always told him I wasn't over Advik.

"Are you sure you want to marry me?" I had asked him a week before the wedding.

"Why?"

"Because I will never be able to love you the way I love him," I had responded.

"We'll make do, Naina," Zayne had responded after several seconds. "We're friends, we'll be okay."

But now it seemed that Zayne wanted more from our relationship. He expected more than just friendship. But I couldn't give him love; my heart belonged to Advik. There wasn't any room for Zayne in that part of my heart.

I looked at him presently. He was still arguing over something with his cousins.

"Amit Mishra was in the wrong," stated Omar.
"Nope, a thousand percent, Virat Kohli was in the wrong," Zayne argued. I smiled. Men and Cricket. I remembered how Advik would watch the game highlights because there was no way he could watch the whole match. I would lie on his lap, and he would watch it on his laptop. He would make comments and yell at the screen as though he were watching in real-time.