Titan's Strength #5

CH 5 Bar Blues

Titan's POV--

I pat my horses head as we slowly trot up to the barn for the day. I jump out out of my saddle and tie my girls bridal up on the hook in her stall while grabbing her some oats to snack on. Its been a long week and I'm so glad it's finally Friday. I unsaddle Sweet Pea and start brushing her down rubbing her soft brown hair. I love my girl I have had her since she was born here at GTM about five years ago. I pull off her bridal and shut her door as I walk to the tack room to hang it up.

I walk out of the barn and get in my truck to drive home and relax the rest of the weekend. I usually try to take weekends off but animals don't care if it is a week day or not when they get out of their pins or go into labor so I can only hope nothing happens. Two minutes later I am pulling into my driveway and walking through the front door where I take my hat and boots off before going to the kitchen to eat. I make a sandwich quickly and Scarf it down before taking a quick hot shower before deciding to be lazy and watch tv on the couch for the rest of the night.

I pull out my cell phone and stare at it. I don't know if I should text or call Jesse after last weekend or wait a little longer I don't want to seem desperate but at the same time I don't want him to think I'm ignoring him. Last Saturday was amazing after swimming in the pond and talking until dawn I drove Jesse back to his truck at the bar. We said our good byes with some bro hugs and before he got in his truck he pulled out a business card with his cell on it and told me to call him and we could get together again. I was speechless and just waved as he pulled away with a smile on his face.

I think we were able to start a friendship and I am at a loss on what to do next. I don't think I have ever went into a relationship where we started out as friends and that's what I want from Jesse. I don't just want to be his friend but if that's all he is offering I don't want to loose him all together. I look down at my phone more confused than ever and dial and listen to it ring a few times before an out of breath Memphis answers. "Yeah big bro what's up?" I sigh. "Hey Memph I have a very weird question to ask you."

"Shoot Titan what can I help you with?" I think very carefully how to word my question not to give away to many details. "Ok so I like someone and they gave me their number but I think it might have been more of a here is my number and lets be friends but I want more. Should I call him?"

I hear a sharp intake of breath and know I slipped up and said him shit. "Umm Titan you should call him even if you guys only end up being friends at first. You never know what can develop over time. I mean look how long it took me to get my head out of my ass and settle down with Avery."

"You think Memphis? I don't know but How is your husband doing? I can't believe he is still putting up with you over a year later God only knows how." I hear Memphis scoff. "Hey I'm a catch he is lucky to have me and he is doing good he has baby fever now that Greyson and Blaine are having their second but I think I'm going to get him a puppy like Nikolaus did for Angel and pray that occupies him for a little while."

I laugh at that. "What ever you say little brother but your married now isn't the next logical step kids?." Memphis voice gets serious. "Yeah I'm just not ready to share Avery yet even with my own kid.....Hey Titan stop trying to side track me you called me for advice so here it is, I know you Titan if you want something you will work hard to get it so if you really want this guy then show him, ok? Give him that Rawlings charm and go for it."

I sigh as we say our goodbyes. I'm more confused than ever after talking to Memphis. I don't know why I thought calling him would give me some form of clarity. I guess because of how he and Avery went from friends to lovers I assumed he would have great advice, turns out not so much maybe I should have called Avery instead.

I look back down at my phone and scroll through my contacts until I reach Dr. hot stuff which is what I put Jesse's number under last weekend. My finger hovers over the call button and finally I just press it and put the phone to my ear. I'm really disappointed when all I get is a generic voicemail. I panic and hang up without leaving a voicemail. I need to do something to get my mind off Jesse before I go crazy. I have been thinking about nothing but him all week.