Omega Retreat

Overcoming

He was very understanding when you asked him to give you time to think about his invitation. It was the turning point you hoped to avoid just a little longer, appreciating instead that you could be just like any other normal girl. Yet, some things couldn't be left on the back burner.
The untouched notification continued to light up your inbox, no doubt just being the website's way of ensuring their reservation went through and they would be paid.

You turned over to look at your phone and the little banner still sitting at the top that said, "You've been invited to reserve a cabin by JAMES BARNES."
It was fitting that he'd picked the Gold Package, and you had to admit, a sexy getaway was incredibly tantalizing.

Yet, everything felt rushed, and you knew exactly why. You knew you were always going to give in, but ever since that conversation at the hospital, you wanted so badly for every choice to at least be your own. Something you wanted to do, not be coerced by circumstances.

You told yourself every second after you'd logged into your computer, your eyes still heavy with broken sleep, that this was still your decision. Accepting the invite would be your decision, no matter what reason you had to make it.
With one simple click, it was done, a cascade of hearts flooding the screen as their little mascot hopped around with joy. It was cute, yet still a little cheesy.

You set the computer aside before laying back on the bed and letting the small streaks of sun coming in from the window warm your skin. You felt so oddly relieved, yet still so anxious. It was a good start, better than what you had before.

A small ding sang through the peaceful morning, and once again you emerged from your little sheet cocoon to grab your phone from the nightstand. It was a message from Bucky, and he seemed as excited as ever to have gotten your confirmation.

'Good morning :D'

You smiled at the message, feeling more relief spread through your tired body as you typed back.
'Morning. I take it you got the notification.'

You watched as those three dots jumped inside the prospective chat bubble before two popped up at once.
'I did indeed.'
'You have no idea how happy this makes me.'

Everything he said always seemed to make your heart blossom with a new feeling of warmth. It really put into perspective how tiring all that stress and anxiety really was when it finally started to disappear.

Expressing his eagerness through text must not have been enough for him, as the phone buzzed to life in your hand before you could type another reply.

You didn't hesitate to answer it, and your belly fluttered at the low rumble of his voice as it sang through the speaker.
"Hey, doll"

"Hi. You miss me already?"

You heard him chuckle softly, probably smiling at the bashful tone in your voice. "I hope I'm not coming on too strong."

"No! I think it's really sweet."
It was nice to have someone care this much about your needs, especially above their own. It was someone who wanted to take care of you at what may well be your weakest.

You hear him clear his throat for a second, shaking the sweet and sugary vibe that the conversation had started on. "Do I have the date right? If not, then I can fix the reservation.."

"No, you remembered very well. I'm actually surprised."

"I guess I'm just excited."

"That makes two of us; I'm practically shaking in my boots."

He laughed back at your goofy little retort, and you giggled nervously along with him.

"I was kind of afraid you'd say no." His voice seemed to fall again as he spoke, giving you a glimpse of a few insecurities of his own. "Like, maybe I scared you away."

"As if." You laughed it off immediately, bemused at the thought that he'd consider himself anything more than the teddy bear he'd shown you.
"I needed some time to take it in for a second. I just felt so much in the moment, ya-know." You smiled down at the phone as you spoke, hoping you could melt his fears just as he did yours. "Believe me, you're not scary one bit."

You swear you could feel the laugh he'd let out as you chuckled with him.

He'd talked to you for hours, showering you with compliments as he finalized the details of your trip.

"Are you sure you'll be able to take that time off? It is pretty soon." You stepped around your kitchen, looking for a mug to pour some coffee into. Bucky watched your shapely form as it moved across his screen, smiling to himself before you turned back to the phone and caught his eyes wondering.

The conversation had since evolved into a video call, letting you see the actual smile on his face. There would be glimpses of the rough grain in his facial hair and the deepening blue of his eyes, but there were finer details that you couldn't see.
You wanted to see so much more, and soon you will. That thought alone made you feel so much happier.

He brushed his hair back with his fingers, leaving a thick lock behind his ear and a few strands to fall back across his forehead and cheek.
"I'll be just fine; help to be your own boss."

"Oh? Big boss, man, huh?"

He huffed a chuckle before he spoke back, "A story for another time, but I'll tell you now it's not all it's cracked up to be."

You gave him a little pout.

"What about you?" He asked, in a clear attempt to redirect the conversation back to the original question.

"Oh, I always get my heat off. It's kinda like that for Omega's."
You were more than lucky to work in an environment that was so welcoming to people like you, and you were sure that your supervisor would understand.

"Makes sense.." You watched his eyes wander from the screen as he pulled his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants. It looked so out of date that it was no wonder why he only used the webcam on his computer.

"Nice flip phone, grandpa."

He laughed back at you with "gee thanks, doll" before tossing down the bad news. "I gotta go."

"Awe, already."

"Yeah, nothing like a work emergency on a Saturday." You watched him toss the phone on his desk offscreen before turning back to you. "I can't wait to see you, Omega."

"I can't wait either, Alpha." You felt his eyes shift as you spoke, as if finally hearing you say his denomination so diffidently.
You tapped the red button on the phone screen, ending the call before you turned it off and set it aside.

By mid-afternoon, you'd since decided to knock out a few of your household chores. You were already elbow deep in some soapy dishwater when you heard another familiar ringtone. You fumbled for the dish towel nearby to dry your pruney fingers before grappling with your phone.

You accepted the call and called back a sweet greeting to one of your favorite people.
"Hi, mom."

"Hi sweetie. I haven't heard from you in a few days.." Her concern was sweet, but you were quick to cut her short, not wanting another reminder of the previous incident.

"I'm fine, mom."

She sighed back, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I know."

"Any news?" Her voice lightened, truly hoping there would have been an update on your condition and even more so that it was promising.
There was plenty of news, wonderful news that you weren't ready to break to your worrisome mothers just yet.

Better now than never, it seemed, "I met someone."

"Oh?"
She didn't sound happy, and every second afterward that she left you in silence made your once-airy mood deflate.

"He's uh...He's an alpha." Your jaw only tightens further as you wait for an answer back. Anything would be better than another 'oh?'

"Well, that's nice. W-where did you two..meet?" Her discomfort was never easily hidden, but at least she was trying.

"We met on this dating site, and we'll be spending some time together soon."

"I see. So is it a date to a cafe or dinner?"

"We're going away for...." You struggled to find the words, "...it's just this vacation rental somewhere quiet and calm."

"Oh, a getaway. Sounds nice, but... you know your cycle will be coming soon. It's probably best to be careful."

"I-I'll be taken care of..."

"Are you sure? I can always be there to take care of you in case of another emergency."
You felt your stomach tighten a little as she spoke.

"That's actually why we'll be out of town." Your toes shifted along the floor, carting you to the fridge so you could grip the handle to better hold yourself upright.

She didn't answer back right away, only giving you a weak "you can't do that."

It made the blood freeze in your veins, leaving your body tense against the refrigerator. "Mom.."

"Do you have any idea what might happen to you all that way from home?"

"I know what I'm doing."

"The hell you do. You can't do this. I can't lose you."
She seemed to spiral nearly as badly as you did.

"If I go through another heat without a partner, you fucking will lose me." You nearly wailed as you yelled back into the phone, only to be met with a few moments of dead air.
It made the frantic beat of your heart seem louder and louder. Proof that no matter how calm the waters felt, you couldn't escape the truth that swam beneath them.

"Sweetheart, I only want you to be safe."

You knock your head back against the fridge before letting your body slide along the side of it, letting the newly mounting anxieties drag you down to the floor. "I'm not safe alone, mom."

"I'm sorry. I know you wanted to wait for all this, and it's not fair." Her voice was just as weak as yours was now.

"It's fine; I need to grow up sometime." You said back, pulling your knees to your chest. You didn't want to wallow in this disparity anymore; you were so sick of it all. It takes a single thoughtâ€"a glimmer of hope shining through the dark clouds that have begun to circle around you.
You thought of Bucky.

"B..James' is nice; I think you'd like him." You had to quickly correct yourself, knowing his nickname had been sweet to you but could seem silly to others. You still remember the abashed laugh you gave when he first told you.

"I…good, that's good."
You knew that wasn't what she wanted to say, and now you weren't afraid to say it instead.
"You think you'd like him more if you'd gotten to meet him."

"I didn't say that, but yes." You hear her voice wavering as she speaks. "I'm glad, though, that he's nice. I hope you have fun on your trip."

"Thank you, mom."

"Please be safe, sweetheart. I love you."

You sighed for a second before telling her you loved her too, and the call came to an end. You were still hugging your knees, nearly curling in on yourself in your kitchen. The floor was uncomfortable, and you finally unfolded yourself and pushed off of it. You missed the careless feeling you'd had while talking to Bucky, lamenting how easily your mood had dipped like a sinking ship.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair at all. Just when you thought you could escape the anxiety, it rounded its ugly head around each corner. Well, this time you wouldn't be taking it lying down anymore.
You used this new momentum to spur yourself through the house and towards your bedroom. You bolted for your closet, determined now only to look ahead to your chance to get away from it all. You tore through your hung clothes, wanting to find anything that could impress your perspective, Alpha.
You found yourself leafing through more khaki shorts than you'd realized you'd owned. Faded sundresses and worn-out old sandals littered the pile, along with plain cotton panties in contrast to any lacy lingerie.

You still had a long way to go before you truly felt comfortable in your own skin. But certainly, a little shopping could do some good too.
There was a fire in your belly, burning you forward like an angry locomotive.

It will be a cold day in hell before anyone takes this opportunity away from you.