Who you see is not who I am

72.

Chosen pov
Ok so we just got to my moms house and I'm hella nervous because Bebe said of course everybody is furious with me but everybody is waiting for me to get home and I don't know what's about to happen I don't know if

I'm gonna get yelled at,cursed out,broken up with but I'm ready I made my bed and I'm gonna lay in the mufucka so me and Bebe grabbed my bags from the car and walked into the house to hear complete silence making me look back at her

But she just gestured for me to keep walking in which I did to walk into the living seeing everybody sitting in silence not paying attention to the door truth be told I wanted to sneak upstairs without being seen but right when

Bebe walked up behind she said "look who I found" everybody then turned around to see me not how I left because when I left I had in long knee length knotless braids,acrylic nails,and eyelashes on but unfortunately after

I left my dad and got into my hotel room I kinda had a depression episode and took out my braids,ripped my nails off,and picked out my lashes one by one I haven't looked this bare in a while

My hair was out and curly,no nails,or lashes just me and I'm not gonna lie it felt good to see my face again "where have you been Chosen we have been worried sick about you and you just left us high and dry with a silly message

Then ghosted everyone what is wrong with you I didn't raise you that way" my mom said being the first one to break the silence but my dad who was sitting next to her grabbed her hand and gave her a calm down look

Which made her stop screaming but she still looked furious and truth be told I was just gonna let her yell and get everything out I was gonna let all of them yell and get everything out I know what I did was selfish but I needed to be in that moment

"Where did you go why did you leave did we do something to you" my brother king said I huffed "I'm so sorry for what I put everyone through I just needed time because so much was getting thrown at me at one time and I wanted to handle the situation like an adult

But as shit started to get worse I realized i didn't know how to do that like I had everything but a part of me still wasn't happy then shit kept hitting the fan and I could ignore that shit no more I was spiraling bad

And i didn't was be my old hotheaded self and loose everything but I think I already did so i understand any decision y'all decide to make going forward I'm really sorry" as I was talking I kinda directed that last part towards the boys that kept looking at me but didn't say anything

"Chosen we ain't mad we just wanna know what forced you to leave without a trace like I felt so bad when you gave me your keys and just left the club I thought I did something to you your the realist closest friend I had in years and

You can't just up and leave me without telling me why we communicate around these parts" I sighed "and I'm sorry for that I don't know how to be supportive when my feelings are hurt" she looked at me funny "what do you mean by that I'm so confused"

I huffed "ok so let me put it in a way that I can give all of you closure at once and we can take it from there Bebe has been my best friend since I could breath she helped me through so much mental,physical,and she even saved my life I thought nothing could ever break us apart

Until she met her finance I felt like I went from being her number one priority to her last priority but I didn't say anything because this has also been the first time in years I seen my best friend keep a smile on her face so it was breaking me but I wanted her to be happy to put herself first once

Then she told me she was moving hours away that day marking the first time in years I had a panic attack granted it was after we got off the phone but I didn't wanna show her how upset I was but a year later

After not genuinely being over it I met you Nai and besides you were the first person that didn't act scared to talk to me that treated me like a human and you became my best friend to I could tell you everything go to you for stuff and you always had my back no matter what

But I felt like you meeting my brother was the worst mistake I made in a while I know I wanted you to be happy after everything you went through but when you told be they were thinking about making you there sub

I just though about how you would have to transfer school and live an hour away but I bit my tongue once again because I know my brother is a good nigga and his wife is an amazing person and you deserve to be happy even if that meant we would not be seeing each other as much

Then miles You confused me like so fucking much you waited until I was content and happy to pour out your heart to me like years even when we were in a relationship you acted like this cool macho man who didn't give a fuck about anything but himself but when I finally have somebody's to treat me like a princess

You wanna admit your mistake and tell me how much I really meant to you" I was going between everybody letting it be know getting all the shit off my chest and it kept getting harder and harder