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HARRY'S P.O.V
I woke up with my mother beside my bed screaming as an attempt to try and make me go to school. I had already decided ‘d never step in that school ever again. It would be better for me, for Zayn, for all of us.
"You can't stay hidden here forever, Harry. This is not right." My mother screamed and that made my head hurt. I drank too much last night, but it was the first night I could finally sleep well, because of the drinks. Maybe I should have drink more, so I could completely forget Zayn.
"Mom, I don’t wanna go to school today, okay? Tomorrow I will , I promise." I told her covering my face with my pillow. I was lying, I didn’t want to go back to school; I just wanted her to let me sleep.
"Ok Harry, but tomorrow you will." My mother said as she left my room and slammed the door abruptly as she did so. And as the lazy bastard I am, I got back to sleep.
I woke up it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon, Damn, I wanted to sleep all day. I decided to turn on my phone to see if it had any messages, and the first was from Louis.
"Harry, won’t you answer that phone, mate? I'm worried." Well, because things seem so complicated for me lately? I shrugged that thought away and went on to the next message, also from Louis. His voice seemed too desperate in this one.
"Harry, the boys already know. Allie appeared at school today and told them everything. I tried to tell you in person but you weren’t home. Is everything okay? " Oh God, why is Allie so mean? I can't believe she did that! I hate her so much! I wonder how Zayn must be now, he had to confront it all alone. Nobody could actually understand me right now, I got angry at Allie, angry at me and angry at Zayn because he crossed in my path. "Who am I trying delude?" I told myself. Zayn was the best part of my life, even if it was in a short time, but he was.
Zayn had sent me many messages, but I didn’t have the courage to open them. "Read only one Harry!" My conscience was talking to me again. I saw that he had sent me a text today at midday, I decided to read this one. Maybe he wanted to tell me something about Allie.
Harry I'm worried about you, you disappeared. Louis said you weren’t home last night, are you okay? I love you, I'm suffering a lot, never thought I could suffer that much for someone. I read your letter, I don’t blame you, I know you never meant to hurt me but I'm hurt Harry. I can't forget you, I’m not able to forget you. Our story can still have a happy ending. If you want me to wait for you, I'll wait, just tell me something. I love you.
Z xx
I read the message laughing and crying at the same time, he loves me, and that makes me happy. But I cried because I'm egoist, I can't leave him waiting for me. This isn’t right. I don't know if someday I'll be ready to be gay. I love him so much. Never thought that love actually existed, and now I'm a complete idiotic coward in love with a boy. I was sitting on my bed holding my face with my hands and a million thoughts came to my mind. I didn’t want to think anymore, I wanted to empty my mind, but that was impossible at the moment. I grabbed my phone and dialled for the first person that came to my head.
"Hey Phil, can you find me?"
ZAYN'S P.O.V
My parents knew that Harry and I we weren’t together anymore. They were as sad as I was, I never imagined that my family loved me so much, they showed their full support to me in these past days, I was proud to be a part of this family. I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Niall and Liam didn’t speak to me, they totally ignored me these two days in school. Eleanor showed me full support, I wouldn’t expect less of her, she is so sweet. Louis will make a meeting in his house today, but I didn’t want to go, I just wanted Liam and Niall to be my friends again. I don't even recognize myself anymore, I'm stronger than ever, a few time ago I would not have the courage, I would lock myself in my room hoping everyone would stop hating me, but not now. I think owe it to harry, he made me braver.
Louis received me with a smile on his incredible lips. I entered and Niall and Liam left the couch. Eleanor and Emma looked at me with compassion.
"They love you, you know it, right?" Emma asked me lifting my chin up with her hands. "They got disappointed because you didn’t trust them." Emma added, hugging me when she realized I was close to tears.
"I'd better leave that discussion for another day." I told Emma and me turning to speak to Louis. “Thanks for having me here mate, see you tomorrow" I turned to the door and said goodbye to the three. It was already difficult for Harry to become even more without Liam and Niall, I loved them, they showed me how important it is to have friends. Right now I regret never having spoken to them about me and Harry, but I was afraid, afraid of how they would react knowing that two of his friends formed a gay couple in our group. I'm an idiot. They never discriminated anyone, why didn’t I tell them? I don’t know, it would be different today, but unfortunately we can’t rewind the tape.
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A month has passed since Harry and I broke up. Some things remained the same. Niall and Liam have not talked to me and it hurt a lot. Harry stopped studying, I don't know how this could happen, he was so studious, intelligent. He doesn’t speak with any of the boys, Louis told me he no longer speaks to him too and now Harry is going out with an old classmate. Gemma came to my house a few days ago, she seemed really worried about her brother, she told me that every day he comes home drunk at dawn, and that Anne doesn’t know what to do with him. It broke my heart, but I couldn’t do anything, he wouldn’t let me get near him, I sent countless messages, I tried to stalk him in the places he frequented but never could find him. I still loved him, maybe even more than before, I had no desire of being with someone else. Deep in my heart I still had some sort of hope that Harry would be mine again. Every day when I wake up, my first thought are green eyes, until hear him say "Forget everything that happened Zayn, you won’t suffer ever again, I'm here now." But that never happens, it's just my imagination. And the reality is so cruel. Saturday is Liam’s birthday, Emma will make a big party for him, but he didn’t invite me. Everyone is gathered in the refectory table, I am prepared to sit on the terrace as all the other days.
"Hey Zayn, come here." Louis called me, I wanted to sit with them again, I missed the laughter of Niall, and he could make me laugh anytime. I missed our precious moments together, but I missed it even more by not seeing Harry sitting there too.
"I'm going to the terrace." I said coming near them. I was embarrassed, I couldn’t look at them.
"Sit here Zayn." Emma said to me showing the chair beside her, she smiled jolly.
"I better go." I told them truthfully because I didn’t want to leave Liam and Niall uncomfortable again.
"Did you hear her? Sit with us." Liam told me and I couldn’t stop smiling. I was so happy at that moment. "Okay." I told as I joined them. Things might start to change.
"Hey Zayn, you want some chicken?" Forgiven. It’s rare for Niall to share food, and when he did I just couldn’t deny it.
"Of course I want Niall." I said with a big smile on my face, I think it was enough for them to realize how happy I was. "ONLY ONE." Niall said laughing. "Niall's like I missed it." I thought.
They spoke together, laughed, I said nothing. I just looked at them admired, thinking how I loved them and how I missed it all. A part of my life had returned be like it was before, all I needed was Harry to complete my happiness. But for now my friends already are enough.
