An Encounter

Indecisiveness

Thursday was probably one of my favorite and least favorite days at the same time. My older sister would be frustrated sometimes because I was indecisive. But the truth is that I can pick most of the time but I choose to be this way.

When I was seven, two of my friends I met in Belgium and I were supposed to share a tub of ice cream, one wanted mint chocolate and the other wanted vanilla I could pick or suggest my favorite flavors but it would hurt one of them.

Now today I am up with some news for Han. I wanted to call him but I was confused about what to do so I decided to go to the dorms.

If I hurry I am sure to get to the dorms at six a.m. I wear black pants with an oversized blue cardigan and a stylish backpack with my laptop, purse, some documents and a change of clothes for emergencies.

~

It is five past six and I am in front of the gates.

"Miss Taylor?" a security guard asks.

"Yes, that's me," I reply.

He leads me to the living room and Han starts running to me and pulling me in a hug whiles Hyunjin and Chan walk behind me.

"Holy shit, Amara you look cute", Hyunjin says staring at me.

"Thank-"

"Hyunjin, stop flirting and eye-fucking her", Chan says.

"Jesus, can someone turn the volume down, oh Amara-"

"Hi, everyone can you take a seat. Especially you Peter"

I say then I grab Han and hug him.

"Geez, you are scaring me. You hugged me so tight and even called me by my English name in person but you wouldn't do that unless there is something wrong."

"Just listen"

Suddenly the other members of Stray Kids burst in, well...

no Felix though.

"Why is everyone quiet u-um, Felix is at the convenience store he will be here in 15"

"You guys sit too"

I open WhatsApp on my laptop and put it on the table.

"I woke up this morning, to see a message on my phone from Lilianne" Han's breathing changes and everyone starts staring at me for answers.

"She is his ex they had a weird relationship and a bad break up" I reply, "She and the others want to visit Korea for two weeks for my birthday and she wants me to be sure both you and I are okay with her coming so that we can call her before she sleeps to confirm."

His eyes widened momentarily before he regained his composure. "Yeah sure, is she in class, right now?", he replied casually, trying to mask any hint of emotion. 

"She's on a few days break so she went back to France"

The air between them seemed to thicken with unspoken thoughts. The members sensing our discomfort tried to break the ice, but the weight of unspoken memories lingered in the air, reminding them both of a past they had tried to move on from.

"So are we calling-"

"Who are we calling, guys", Felix asked.

"Lili", Han managed to get out.

"THE LILI, HAN'S LILI?"

I nod.

"Only Minho, Chan, and Felix knew the whole story" Is all he could say in a whisper.

My laptop received a video call request from Lili.

"I will take him to the room, to try and calm him down", Chan says then he grabs Han.

*underlined text is French, Italics is the other caller*

"Hey, Lili"

"Hey, Violette"*the name is not a mistake*

"Can we speak French instead"

"Ok"

"She is telling her to speak French", I heard Felix tell the others.

"OMG, is there a guy there, is he a hookup or are you dating"

"No, I'm with Peter but he is working in his room"

"Oh, so those must be Stray Kids members, they have some good music, Hi "

"Hi", they say in unison. "Can I pause for a while?"

I pause the call without waiting for a reply and Felix comes over to me.

"You know I don't know a lot of French but could understand some parts and put the pieces together. If you didn't tell her that we were with us she would think that you were getting laid and she interrupted it. Oh before you go I think we should talk today, I will pick you up from work at seven."

"Ok, seven"

"Let me get Han, my so-called twin real quick"

I go back and unpause it.

"We have agreed you guys can come to Korea. Prompt me 2 weeks to time I will get one of our houses ready. Send the final people  so that I will know how many rooms"

"Okay thank him for me. I wish we could even say hi. I want to be able to move past all the bad stuff and fix it. To be honest I don't regret liking him, I regret dating my good friend, especially your best friend and for God's sake I was 13, and now I am 21"

"It's okay I get it. I was 15 then, now I will be 24 in months, I want to move forward too and deal with all my past like the strong person I want to be" 

Han was just nervous at first. He had social anxiety and it had been 8 years but he didn't love her anymore. And from the look in his eyes I could tell he was better.

~

It is seven pm. I am in the park when I see a black Mercedes pull up. I enter the car very fast to avoid people recognizing Felix. My dad bought the same Mercedes last year if anyone saw me, I would say that it was my dad's driver in Korea picking me up.

"Hi"

"Hey, I think we should speak in English because it's our first language"

"Okay"

"There is some takeaway food I just picked up you should eat it"

"I am on a diet"

"Okay, hmm, Amara I think you and I got off on the wrong foot. I am usually not angry or hateful but I was very happy because I was meeting many people and my clothes got ruined."

"Yeah, sorry I was late but I had worked super hard for this opportunity so I didn't want to make a bad impression"

"After listening to you and the others I realized that it was not your fault, let's reach an understanding"

"No, let's get to know each other, I need a lot of foreign friends"

He laughs.
"Sure let's get to know each other"

And now I cannot decide if Felix is actually the Sunshine or if he has a different character but something tells me to trust him.....

But I had to learn how to be able to decide especially when there were people who counted on me.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

This part is dedicated to a very indecisive friend of mine.