Scarred Hearts

34 | Lana fucking Luo

Nicholas stepped out of the steaming shower more nervous than when he got in. It was supposed to have brought him some peace of mind, to alleviate his nerves. Instead, the foggy haze that enveloped the bathroom seemed to mirror the cloudiness in his thoughts.

Droplets of water clung to the mirror when he wiped the steam off with his hand, distorting his reflection as he reached for a towel. It absorbed the moisture from his skin, but there was nothing to soak up the tenseness in his mind. It kept growing, saturating his thoughts to the point he wished the day would be over already so he could finally breathe again.

It was Thanksgiving, the day of gratitude and counting blessings, families gathered around tables and laughter, roasting turkey and freshly baked pies. At least, that was the way for someone else. For Nicholas, it was the day he was spending some alone time with his father, which maybe should be a reason to be grateful. But if that was the sentiment that should envelop him, he was far off the mark.

Nearly a month had passed since his father's return home but Nicholas saw little more of him now than when he was away on business trips. His anger and disappointment festered with each passing day void of genuine moments, any moments of connection.

And yet, as he got ready on that Thanksgiving day, and as the minutes dared closer to the encounter, he found himself secretly hoping for a sudden, last-minute little cancelation of their plans.

As much as he resented and judged his father for his perpetual absence, every time a moment arose where they would be forced to spend time together, Nicholas's nerves reached such heights that he couldn't help but feel a tinge of relief whenever the plans fell through—another late night at work, another busy schedule, another missed chance.

It might have been irrational and nonsensical, but it was comfortable. Familiar.

As if on cue, Nicholas's BlackBerry began to ring just as he tugged his forest green sweater over his head. But it wasn't his father calling. It was Lana.

Valeria was right. He had been very clear with Lana, but then, the second he had a problem she was there right by his side and Nicholas didn't say a word. She was too attached, and maybe that was his fault. He couldn't deny that he had allowed her to become more involved in his life than he intended.

He stared at the screen, her name insistently looking at him with accusation.

Nicholas wished she would just give up, but the name wouldn't go away. He should pick it up, try and have a calm conversation with her, although that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Things were finally good with Valeria, and perhaps today would be the first step toward fixing things with his father too. Maybe it was time he got the rest of his life in order as well.

Before he could pick up the phone, the call abruptly ended, and Nicholas realized Lana had tried to reach him three times already. A text message flashed on the screen.

Lana: ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE

Nicholas hesitated for a moment before deciding to respond.

Nick: I think we should talk in person

Lana: I'm coming over

He called her back, and she answered on the first ring.

"Lana, I didn't mean right now. I'm going out, I told you," he explained patiently, trying to keep his frustration with her under a leash.

"I don't care, Nick," her voice trembled with tears. "We need to talk right now."

Nicholas let out a heavy sigh, concern etching lines of worry across his face. "What's going on?"