BL I don't want to reincarnate!

Chapter 31

Ephraim noticed my determination because he sighed:

“It seems my dear wife doesn’t like our chef. I am sorry that I didn’t notice before.”

I frowned. Where was this going?

“That’s not what I said. 
-What should I do with someone useless?”

I felt goosebumps all over my body. That couldn’t be good. The maids felt it as well because they immediately stopped moving, shaking in their shoes. People started giving me pleading looks and I couldn’t ignore them:

“It’s not that I don’t like the chef. I’m just not hungry today.
-My dear wife really is warmhearted. But you don’t have to lie for his sake.
-I am not lying! I am just not hungry! Did it never happen to you before? 
-I know my wife better than that. You are never full.”

I couldn't help blushing:

“Stop saying it as if I was an ogre.
-That is far from my intention. I love every aspect of my wife.
-I am not your wife.
-My sweet wife would be gorgeous even as an ogre.
-Do you want me to spit at you?
-I am glad that you aren’t on a diet.”

I frowned:

“Why would I be on a diet?
-You were on a diet not long ago. Don’t you remember?”

I flinched. Did the real Sliske do diets before?

“Of course I do. I loved diets. I… I didn’t know that I loved food that much but now that I know I won’t do any more diets.
-You love food now?
-Of course! I live for eating! I just love food.
-I didn’t know you liked food that much.
-Of course I do! Who doesn’t?
-How much do you like it exactly?
-I would rather die than miss a meal.”

Ephraim’s smirk made me stop talking immediately. I messed up. I really had to start thinking before speaking.

“If you love food that much, why would you miss breakfast this morning?
-I…
-Is that a roundabout way of telling me that you want to die?
-No!”

Ephraim suddenly laughed:

“Don’t look so scared, darling. I would never let the love of my life die so easily.”

I grimaced. I had no idea if I should feel scared or relieved. Maybe both. Seeing me perplexed, Ephraim smiled:

“You have to understand, Love. I can’t possibly keep someone useless in my house. That would be a waste of money wouldn’t it?
-Will you get rid of me too?”

Ephraim did kill Sliske and Arora as soon as he could. I was exactly like the chef. 

“What are you talking about, darling?
-Don’t play dumb.
-How could you compare yourself to that useless cook?
-I am useful for you now but as soon as you won’t be forced to be my husband, I’ll be gone.”

Ephraim raised his eyebrows, pretending to be dumbfounded:

“I had no idea that my dear wife thought this way. Is that why you wanted to divorce me so bad?
-That’s just because I don’t like you.”

Obviously, Ephraim wasn’t having that answer. It seemed he by far preferred the version where I wanted to divorce him because I felt insecure in our relationship:

“My sweet soulmate…”

I felt my whole body be covered in goosebumps:

“Don’t call me that.
-It pains me that you have been thinking in such a way about our relationship. I would never think of you as useless.
-Yeah sure.
-You don’t have worth to begin with.”

I was taken back.

“Do you want me to punch you?”

Ephraim laughed:

“This is exactly how you should have reacted when you thought that I wasn’t a good husband. You shouldn’t have just accepted it and asked for a divorce. What I meant was that you are you, Sliske. You are important to me just because of that and not because of anything else. I don’t need anything from you. I just need you to be yourself.
-Stop lying. I by far prefer when you are being scary.”

Ephraim laughed:

“Do you get turned on by me being scary? Then I guess I should really have a word with that chef. I am sure that he has a family he cares about.
-Stop with the warnings! Did you think that scaring me would make me do what you want?”

Ephraim looked down at my clenched fists:

“Warnings? How could you say that, Love? I told you that I would be good to you.
-As if. What are you doing right now? You are scaring me to eat.
-Why would I want to scare you? I would never hurt my dearest wife. I am simply worried about you. You should eat to regain your strength.”

I frowned. What was that maniac talking about? What could he possibly be thinking?

“I simply want the best for my wife. If you don’t like your food, I should give you food that you like.
-Why are you so stubborn? I told you that I won’t eat!
-You are the one being stubborn, Darling. I am simply trying to reason with you.
-Reason? You!”

He was driving me mad. I really wanted to tear his head off:

“You!”

Ephraim tilted his head:

“What is it darling? Is there something you want to tell me?”

I raised my hands towards his throats, pretending to strangle him in the air. Ephraim looked at my hands and suddenly grabbed them. He looked back up at me with a satisfied smile. That woke me up and I snatched my hands away:

“Don’t touch me.
-I'm sorry, wife. It seems I have misunderstood your actions. I thought you wanted to touch me but didn't dare do it.
-I was trying to strangle you."

Ephraim laughed for whatever reason. He really loved laughing. I didn't remember it being the case in the book. But then again, Ephraim was only seen when he was killing people. Having laugh in that moment wouldn't be that surprising but it would be that more terrifying.

"My wife really is innocent."

He grabbed my hands again and guided them towards his own neck.

"This is how you should strangle someone."

I tried pulling my hands away and seeing me do so made Ephraim smile:

"It seems my wife still isn't satisfied. Were you talking about some other kind of strangling? I could walk you through that too."

I thought I would puke:

"This really did cut my appetite.
-Does it mean that it wasn't the case before?
-I always loose my appetite as soon as I see you.
-Is that because you love me so much that being by my side is enough for you?
-If you talk about love one more time, I'll scream.
-Would you prefer me talking about the useless chef?"

I bit my lip:

"This conversation is going in circles.
-I have all day.
-I thought you were busy.
-Never when it comes to my wife."

I rubbed my forehead. His childishness really emptied me from all energy.

“Let’s get this over with. I really do need proteins to keep up with you.”