BL I don't want to reincarnate!

Chapter 32

I heard someone knock and immediately felt that it would be Ephraim. Of course, as soon as I opened the door, I saw an annoying smile and I immediately regretted being alive:

“Good morning dear wife. I have a gift for you.
-Again?”

Ephraim laughed:

“You shouldn’t look so disappointed, Love. What if you hurt my feelings?
-That would be very bad indeed… Oh my God what would I possibly do if that were to happen? That would be terrible.”

Ephraim raised his eyebrows.

“Too much?
-A tiny bit.
-Sorry.”

I looked down at the package with a frown:

“What is it?
-Do you even know what a surprise is, darling? Wouldn’t telling you destroy the whole purpose?”

I rolled my eyes and extended my hands towards the package, wanting it to be over as soon as possible. But Ephraim pulled the gift away suddenly and I looked up at him with a frown:

“What?
-Not so fast, wife. You should enjoy the moment.
-You know what? I don’t want it anymore.”

I tried closing the door but Ephraim rushed in and started walking around. I could already feel my blood heating up and I wanted to throw the gift at his head:

“What are you doing?
-I really like what my lover did with their place.
-I didn’t do anything. It was like this when I woke up.”

Ephraim pointed to a painting:

“What are you talking about, darling? You’re the one that did all the decorating. Except for that painting. That’s the only thing you didn’t choose.
-Thank God I wasn’t the one to choose that thing. That painting is disgusting. I want to throw it out every time I see it. Who the hell paints flying wolves and thinks it’s a good idea?”

Ephraim just laughed:

“Really? Now that you are mentioning it, you were the one who chose that painting. You really had an interesting taste in art. You kept saying that it held a deeper meaning and that you loved it.”

I froze.

“Did you forget?
-Yes… It seems I did.
-How is that possible? You really loved that painting and told everyone about it. You kept saying that you were the only one who could truly understand how deep it’s meaning was.”

I quickly straightened up. I had to find a different topic and fast:

“So! What is my gift?”

I walked up to Ephraim but he stepped away, getting the gift further away from my hands.

“And what about that vase? Do you like it?”

I looked at one of the last vases in the room. Most of them had been shattered by Bob by then. Speaking of Bob, he disappeared under the bed when he heard Ephraim and finally stopped destroying the sofa.

“I love it as well. Now, will you give me my gift?”

Ephraim took another step back.

“Oh you do? That’s interesting. You said that that vase was the ugliest one you ever saw. You couldn't throw it away because it was gifted to you by your aunt but you wanted to every day. Did you forget that as well?
-I…
-It seems my wife’s memories really are bad.”

Having no idea what to lie anymore, I pointed at Ephraim’s hands:

“Give me my gift now.
-Why is my wife acting all excited all of a sudden? You didn’t seem to want this gift at first.
-I do! I want it!
-It’s okay. You don’t have to lie, darling. I can continue looking around until you show the right amount of excitement.
-I want to strangle you!”

Ephraim looked at the carpet:

“When did you buy this carpet? Don’t you remember that?
-Who cares when they bought a stupid carpet?
-Stupid? You always remembered those dates perfectly. You remembered them better than the child’s birthday. It would be very weird if you forgot.
-Fine! I want that stupid gift! Happy? Give it to me!
-It doesn’t sound like you want it.
-I do! Give it to me! I will die without that gift!
-Would you? No… You’re just saying that to make me happy.
-I would! If I don’t get that gift right now, my body is going to start getting consumed by flames.
-And how would that happen?
-I would literally start burning because of how much I crave to open that gift. I am sure that that is the best gift I would ever get in my entire life. It will change everything and turn my whole life upside down. I can’t wait to see what’s inside.”

Ephraim laughed:

“Really?”

Being forced to ask for the gift if I didn’t want him to ask questions I didn’t know the answer to, I focused all my irritation into my voice and screamed my answer at the top of my lungs:

“Of course! How could I spend one more second without knowing what you have brought me? If you don’t give me that gift right now, I am going to jump out the window and I will come back to haunt you for 100 years, screaming in your ears every second of every day of every week of every month of every year.”

I did feel a lot better and tried catching my breath for a second.

“Come on, darling. You don’t have to be so extreme. I will give you your gift.”

Ephraim seemed way too happy for it not to be annoying. He literally forced me to beg him.

“I didn’t know that you were so excited about my gift. I know that my wife loved me but I had no idea it was so extreme.”

I grabbed the gift, thinking that I was finally off the hook but Ephraim didn’t let go:

“Now that I think about it. Despite always showing how much he loves me, my dear wife never says it.
-Don’t push it.”

Ephraim raised his hands in the air and finally let me get the present.

“Mea culpa.”

I quickly opened the package, wanting to get it over with as soon as possible. I didn’t know what I had expected but I didn’t expect to see pajamas. I took them out and stared at them with a frown. They were red silk pajamas. Nothing less, nothing more. They were gorgeous and looked very comfortable but why the hell would Ephraim give me pajamas? They weren’t even sexy pajamas. What could he possibly be thinking?

“Pajamas?
-Is my wife terribly happy? Is he so happy that he will kiss me all over?
-Why would you give me pajamas?
-Why not? My dear wife said that if we loved someone, we should give them something they like.
-And I like pajamas?”

Ephraim frowned:

“Aren’t you always wearing them?
-I am not always in pajamas.”

Ephraim looked down at my clothes and I followed his gaze. I was in fact wearing pajamas and Ephraim smirked annoyingly:

“Today doesn’t count. I was in my room relaxing.
-I see.
-I really don’t always wear pajamas.
-Then what about the time you came to the dining room in pajamas?
-That’s… It was only on one occasion.
-An occasion that turned into every day.
-I don’t wear pajamas all the time!
-If you say so.
-I really don’t!”

Ephraim raised his hands in the air with an air of superiority:

“I didn’t say you did.
-I really don’t!
-Fine, if you say so.
-Ephraim!”