Deadly

30.

Celestia

I wake up in a bright white room, the light blurring my eyes as I blink them open

I'm lying on a bed that feels like pure metal with no blankets

I try to sit up but immediately get pushed down by a sharp pain in my lower stomach

I grit my teeth through the burning and look down at my body

I'm only in the bra and underwear set that I put on before and there's a bandage over the skin above my pantyline

"What?" I whisper breathlessly and look around

The door opens and Daichi comes in with a man in scrubs

The doctor pulls back the bandage and checks the large scar

"Everything seems to be going well, try not to irritate the skin much or touch around or on the wound"

"Thank you" Daichi nods

"What's going on?"

He chuckles and walks closer to me "You were right Celestia. It was never going to work. You wouldn't have been able to have children with my son. I got over it. Then I realised you wouldn't be able to have kids with anyone, safely anyway."

"What-"

"I. Just. Helped. You"

"I- I don't- I don't understand. What did you do to me?"

"Well, I realized that since you'll be working for me, if you happened to get pregnant it wouldn't be safe for you, like you said without your meds you may end up killing yourself. I can't have that, I'll need your 'expertise' so my doctors gave you something called a hysterectomy."

"You-you took my womb?"

"Yes, well you weren't going to have kids anyway, most likely, were you" he chuckles

"I-I can't have kids?"

"You wouldn't of any way Celestia. Why aren't you listening to me?"

"YOU TOOK MY WOMB" I scream as tears start pouring down my face

"You're being emotional, I'll be back soon" he turns to the door and leaves, slamming it shut

I stay lying flat on the counter-like bed as my salty tears run over my face and into my sprawled-out hair

I can't remember the last time I cried

It takes a lot for this much emotion to rise in me; I'm not surprised that this tipped me over the edge

He took my womb, I won't be able to carry my own children, a part of me is gone purely because it's easier for Daichi

I hadn't thought too much about having kids before purely because I didn't think I'd ever truly love someone enough to create a family together

Then I met Saint

At first, I just thought Saint was this crazy hot guy who was kind of immature but somehow still a very successful person for his age

When I got to know him I thought he was too good for me

Naturally, I find it hard to believe anyone is better than me, maybe that's why I fell in love with him. There's finally someone I care so much for that I think they're perfect

We hadn't spoken about kids, I mean we hadn't been dating for long enough yet but I think it's pretty obvious that Saint wants kids.

He always tells me about how much he loves having a sister 8 years younger than him

How he loved playing with and taking care of her when she was an infant

He would be the best dad

He deserves to be a dad, I can't give him that anymore

I didn't think at first there would be any point in starting a relationship with Saint

I'd only been in two actual relationships before; one when I was 16 and another when I was 18

They both only lasted a few months and my last boyfriend ended up committing suicide

Naturally, I assumed if I started a relationship with Saint it would go the same way; we date for a couple of months, I act like the perfect girlfriend, he falls head over heels in love with me and I get bored- then leave

Maybe if I had known I'd fall in love I would have never of bothered, I would have thought it wasn't worth it.

I don't know what I'll do if he leaves me

I wouldn't blame him I mean I can't have kids anymore but it would still hurt. A lot.

It may have never worked out for us anyway, this could just be saving us wasted time. Or it could be the end of the best thing in my life, the person I'm supposed to be with and I'll never get over him

Whatever happens, I won't be broken up with

I never have; I never will

In every relationship, every situation, every hookup buddy I have been the dumper and it will stay that way

For now, I can only hope they find me especially because for the next two or so months I won't be able to help myself

I've never been in this position before, for my whole life I've been the only one I knew I could count on 100%. Now I have to put that trust in someone else

It's like an itch I can't scratch knowing I can't do anything other than lie here while I wait to be saved like a damsel in distress

I don't believe in god; I never have but today I will be praying to someone, anyone that this is all just a stupid nightmare and I'll wake up in the arms of my love