Tuesday June 20 th 2024
**its the middle of the night, Carina is up with Nicco and she's just looking at him and admiring him and she thought how could no one wanted him in the first place? If she didn't walk in the maternity ward that very exhausted morning after her twenty four hours shift.. if she didn't took a picture of him and sent it to her wife and if she didn't accept him and went to the adoption process all over again... would Niccolas still be alive today?
Carina checked her emails and discovered that her three girls have been accepted into the sunflower seeds aggency and they have their very first gig at modelling. Very exciting. **
1h27 am
Carina; you're so adorable and I don't know why no one wanted to be your parents... you're so sweet and gentle... yes yes you are. And you stole my heart that very first minute I saw you...
** she was crying and trying her best not to wake up her wife. She failed. Maya woke up , but only because she was being kicked by their beautiful daughter Charlotte. **
Maya: hrmmm what's wrong babe? Why are you crying?
**Carina in the rocking chair **
Ohhh my, I hope I didn't wake you up with my crying...
Maya : you didn't wake me up...
But tell me why you're crying right now...
Carina: oh okay ... I just finished breastfeeding him and he's somehow wide awake now and I just looked at him, his perfect little self, and randomly started crying because I thought about all of the
" what if's" !
Maya : ohhh , okay , like what?
Carina: what his life would be like if I didn't walk into the maternity ward that very beautiful day , November 3 rd 2023 ... what if I had ignored his little newborn, literally one day old baby cries , and brushed it off and simply went back home to you and our wonderful children... what if I didn't take that very first picture of him, and never sent it to you, what if you didn't want to adopt him , another child, and then what if he would have gone through the lung transplant surgery and he wouldn't have made it out alive... what would we have done? Would we have still be together? Would we had gotten a divorce because we couldn't handle losing another child... Would you even be pregnant with Charlotte right now, all of those questions, and I know they are irrelevant and unnecessary questions to think about because obviously none of them happened !
We're still madly in love with each other, and you are pregnant with our twelfth child!
Uhhhh ! I just... our lives would be totally different without him...
Maya : I know, I think about those things too babe, but we can't dwell on them because they are not our reality... We are MADLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND WITH ALL OF OUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN...
Come back to bed with me please!
Carina: okay .... And why are you up then , if my crying didn't wake you up?
Maya: I got woken up by her insane kicking... ahhhhhh owwwwwww ... she's getting really squished up in here and I'm not even full term yet. Oh my goodness...
Carina : ohhh I'm sorry she woke you up.. and I just want to say how proud of you I am, for being active during your pregnancy.. and for not keeping me away from living my feelings about whatever I'm emotional about.. you're so strong and beautiful and I'm very lucky to call you my wife.
Maya : you are proud of me? Why ?
Carina: yessss , I am , because you're resilient and you're strong and honest with your feelings and you express yourself in absolute calmness, especially when we found out several weeks ago that she was measuring smaller than she was supposed to. I just really love you!
Maya : ahhhh ! Well I thank you for always supporting me in this pregnancy journey and with everything I do.. whether it's with work and family stuff...
