fortuitous odds

[14] through the eyes of a child

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Expectations always disappoint. Up until now it had all been something so simple and fantastical. Like a child believing they had a magical superpower. There was a recklessness in the unknown, free will to be anything because there was no way to cage you in.

It had been half an hour and Jungkook had yet to speak. His eyes traced the fluid movement of the sunlight dancing across the dark grey walls. Each flicker of refracted light like a dancer in a flowing dress, free to move however they felt in that moment, unrestrained in their potential. Cracked edges of mirrors casting a spectrum of colourful confetti over their performance.

The longer he stared the more detailed the dancer became, until he was watching his mother twirl in her own creations, bringing colour into a life so dull and fearful. She looked beautiful, serene and forgotten. To be remembered was to be scrutinised beyond humanity. Every expectation held tight against skin until all that was left to do was disappoint.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Spoke the observer to his right. One who had remained still and patient, waiting for the time when Jungkook would break his silence. "You were so excited about it all." Taehyung continued when he remained quiet.

Watching her dance brought words to the surface, a cautionary reminder of the person he was expected to be: a dead man.

Maybe it wasn't the fear of what he could do that had scared him to this silence, but the frightening consequence that was brought with it.

"They're going to kill me." He whispered finally, fingers pulling to his chest to graze over the restlessness within. "Just like they did her." Taehyung was quiet for awhile, but Jungkook could see him in his peripheral, knees pulled into chest and eyes set on him. "That's why she told me to forget."

"She? You mean your mum?" He nodded. For awhile Taehyung didn't say anything, just watching the way the rainbow reflected in the tired eyes of a kid who was beginning to echo a familiar song. "You don't have to go back." Though Taehyung sensed that wasn't where this fear was coming from. He'd seen what the Katharós did to Deviants who escaped their camps. He didn't want to think about what they'd do if they discovered there was one that knew their whole system. "What if we did forget." The suggestion brought those tired eyes up, confusion alight within. Something so innocent in that face brought a brightening smile to Taehyung's cheeks. "For a day, what if we didn't think about any of this. And instead we do what kids should do."

"And that is?" Jungkook asked doubtfully.

"Yaknow, games, adventure, things that I only ever do when I'm working with our younger kids." He chewed on his lip as he pondered the suggestion, trying to imagine ways to fill a day with unimportant nonsense. Almost every day of his life had been scheduled. Being here was the first time he'd ever felt untethered. "You weren't supposed to think so much about that." Said Taehyung through an airy laugh. "C'mon, be impulsive. I like that about you. When you're with me it's unpredictable."

"When I'm with you I make dumb decisions."

"How so?"

"You know how." Jungkook mumbled through his hand, hoping the warmth of the blankets would be an excuse for the creeping flush against his skin. The heat only strengthened when Taehyung continued to laugh, unravelling his limbs and snuggling up to the other so they were resting shoulder to shoulder and his arm was around Jungkook's waist.

"Maybe I need a reminder." Teased the silver boy, head tipping to stare up at the eyes still swimming with uncertainty. When he didn't say anything further, Taehyung brought his pinky up and held it out expectantly. "Pinky promise me, that for today you won't think about the bad stuff."