Execution Dressed in Black ( Stray Kids Mafia AU Fanfiction)

Chapter 17

Sora's P.O.V.

I wanted to leave this room, why was Felix making me sit in the same room as him? I know he doesn't know what Minho did to me fully. But clearly, I am uncomfortable and terrified. Why would he make me sit here? I tremble softly, unintentionally shoving myself further into Chan's body, trying to ease my nerves. Felix and I haven't had a real conversation together after our kiss. I was too flustered and shy. Every time I looked at him I remembered his hand along my waist, and his soft warm lips against mine.  But I couldn't even think straight with Minho being directly in front of me on the other side of the small rectangular coffee table on the opposite couch. Felix stayed near the door, a heavy sigh leaving him. 

"I know you are uncomfortable, Sora, I can see it clear on your face. You don't want to be here. But you need to hear this out. I hate seeing you afraid. And all though what you will be hearing in this room, won't make up for whatever happened between you two. I still think you need to hear it out. Chan and I are here so nothing drastic or dangerous happens. So you are safe right now. Even if you are uncomfortable and scared." Felix spoke from the door, I scoffed to myself. Scared...? That was an understatement of how I was feeling. I was terrified, I was shaking like a leaf in front of him. If it wasn't for Chan holding me tightly, and their presence nearby.

Then I know for a fact if it was just me and him in here, I would be paralyzed with fear, unable to get away, just like the first night I was with him, I could still feel his grip on me, most times when I saw him, I could feel him on me, and everything. My reaction was accurate to how he made me feel near him, how I felt in this moment was valid to myself. Or I thought it was knowing what he did. No one else but Han fully knew what happened.

Everyone assumed they knew, but they didn't. They just know he hurt me badly enough to freak out on Han like I did when I woke up in a panic. I looked down at my fingers fiddling with the thin fabric of the shirt I was wearing, which went well into meeting under my mid-thigh, just before my knee. Just before this, I had been with Hyunjin in his room, talking about his art, before I craved a snack. Then it led to this moment. I just wanted to run back to Hyunjin and hide in his room. Away from everyone here. But it wasn't an option as I sat there. A small hum sound came from me suddenly, making him aware that I acknowledged his words.

I saw Minho shift in his spot which made me instinctively flinch into Chan who pulled me closer to comfort me. Minho looked up, his eyes red, and face tear-stricken, which confused me. Has he been crying, the intimidating man, crying? His eyes widened seeing me flinch as his eyes flashed with an emotion I never expected from him. Regret, pain, and hurt. Unsureness filled me as I looked away from him quickly becoming uncomfortable again. I heard a rough sigh before I heard him speak for the first time since we entered this room.

"I'm not sure what is wrong with me. I've been a monster to you since you came here. I simply want to be close to you like everyone else, but I can't do it. I do not want to be harmed again. I don't want to see you harmed more, but I also don't want to become attached to you. However, I fear it is too late. On one of your first evenings here, I harmed you more than I could ever make up for. I just want to ask for your forgiveness. But every time I am in your presence, you tremble in fear of me. I attempt to conceal my anguish by looking strong as if I don't care. But it hurts much too much." He spoke softly, before sighing heavily, before continuing. "And no, that's not me, making excuses for what I did to you. I am not asking for immediate forgiveness. I want to earn it, I want to make up for what I did to you. I know I have no right to ask anything from you after everything I have done. I... I just think I acted harshly wanting you to hate me so I wouldn't become attached to you, to become attached to another person. But Everytime I see you tremble in fear, my heart aches. I don't want you to hate me. But I know you probably... No, not even probably. You definitely hate me. I don't doubt that." I heard him finish before he went quiet suddenly. 

I clenched my jaw trying to hold back tears, I couldn't forgive him for what he did to me, he forced himself onto me, on my first night here out of that room. But what if he meant it, my thoughts were cut short by the most unexpected sentence I would have thought to come from the brooding older male. "I am so extre....extremely sorry for what I did, Sora..." In broken words, a sob sounded through the room. My head lifted up as I saw the older man, suddenly curled into a ball crying into his palms. And as much as he terrified me, seeing him cry, didn't feel right. I rather him scream at me than see him cry. What was wrong with me? I clenched my fist, it was my turn to speak then I guess. And as much as I wanted to comfort the crying male, a sudden rage took over me. As I stood up from the couch, feeling Chan's grip disappeared. 

"Y...you do what you did... then you feel like you have the right to ask for forgiveness... You...you locked me in that room with you...and even when I begged you to stop until I passed out...you didn't stop...You kept going. You saw my fear. But you didn't stop... You say you regret your actions and that you are sorry... But why didn't you stop when you realized what you were doing was wrong... I still ache because of you.. feeling your touch everytime you look at me, or anytime I see you...You can apologize all you want..but I won't fall for your words, S- No...Minho... I won't allow myself to. You traumatized me when I thought I found a place where I could finally be safe, from my tormentor outside these walls... Who I do not doubt by now is furious I have not come home. But..You...You don't deserve my forgiveness yet...If you want it...you have to prove it. How you choose to do that...Is up to you.. But until then... I...I can't even...manage to look at you without trembling and remembering that night... S..so please just don't come near me..." My rage suddenly turned into a broken ranting sob as I quickly moved so much that Felix hadn't a second to react as I shoved him from out of the doorway and burst out of the room.

My body forced me to run, and I didn't stop until I pushed myself into a dark room, closing the door and sliding down the now-locked door. A sudden gasp sounded in front of me I didn't even flinch to move or anything as a pair of soft arms landed around me. "S...Sora, darling, are you alright?" Han's voice rang softly through my ears as I leaned into him and burst into tears as he held me tightly, just letting me sob into his shirt. "I am here if you want to talk, dear.."He said softly before just holding me and rubbing my back.  I couldn't take it, as my sobs got more frequent, my breathing quicker as I started to hyperventilate. Han tried to soothe me as he rubbed my back whispering soothing words into my ear, my body slowly ached with tiredness and I cried myself into a soundless dark pit of sleep.