subway girl || « sulljin » ✔️

part XXIV - the end?

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After several hours of waiting. The consent beeps of the monitors in the background, the squeaking sound of people walking on the white tile floor, and the whirring of the automatic doors moving as doctors and nurses come in and out.

Yoona sat a small bench beside the surgery room with her head down, rubbing her temples as tears continued to fall. She was still comprehending what happened to Yunjin, and all the other possibilities that could happen to her.

She could survive the gun shot but be disabled for the rest of her life. She could survive and be fine. Or she could... die.

Yoona couldn't stop replaying the vivid memories she had of Yunjin's 'last moments'. Her heart sank when she turned around to see Yunjin lying on the floor with a huge puddle of blood under her. And as she said her 'final words'.

" I-It's never a goodbye, Yoona. It's going to be a see you later. It always will be. "

Then the light in Yunjin's eyes left before she could even close her eyes. Red and blue lights flashed around them with the ambulance arrived. Yoona never left Yunjin's side. Even when Yunjin was being transported inside the ambulance, Yoona got in with her. Kneeling down beside the stretcher, she held Yunjin's hand tightly. Each second that goes by, Yoona hopes, wishes and dreams that her beloved girlfriend wouldn't die such a horrible and sudden death.

And when they first arrived in front of the surgery room, Yoona was asked to wait outside for Yunjin. The older girl watched as her girlfriend was moved into the surgery room where there's a 50/50 chance she could either die or survive.

And that's where her worries began to grow.

" How are you feeling? " Yoona came back reality when she felt a hand tap her shoulder. She turned her head up to see Kyujin who stayed with Yoona the whole trip to the hospital. " Do you want to talk about it? "

Yoona stayed quiet, not knowing how to express her feelings, " Yoona-ah, " Kyujin softly called her name, " If you aren't comfortable talking, it's fine. " Still, the miserable girl stayed silent, " And... If you need space, I can leave. "

" I... I feel guilty. " Yoona whispered loud enough for Kyujin to hear, avoiding eye contact with her. " I feel angry, I feel rage. I feel angry at myself... If- " She sniffed, " If I didn't jump at him. If I didn't attempt to fight him. If I-I didn't start a fight with him. If I wasn't angry at him in the first place... This wouldn't have happened, Kyujin! " Yoona shouted, slapping her face, angry at herself.

" Yoona, it's- "

" Why was I so angry at him?! It's all my fault that Yunjin has to go to the hospital now. Yunjin probably hates me for that. Even if she comes out dead or alive, she's still going to hate me no matter what! O-Our relationship just started, I have tons of things I want to tell her... How much I love her, how much I-I care for her, how much I just- want to kiss her and hug her all the time. "

" Yoona, no- "

" A-And now... I've ruined it. " Yoona whimpered, " Kyujin... I-It's all my fault. Everyone's going to hate me, my mom's going to hate me, my dad's going to hate me. For killing someone! No- They're going to be scared of me for murdering someone... What if Yunjin's afraid of me now? I want her to love me back the same way I do... I don't want her to think I'm going to hurt her. " She covered her face with her hands as she sobbed, " Kyujin... " She quietly said, peeking through her hands, " A-Are you scared of me? "

Kyujin sighed at the sight of her miserable friend, " Why would you think I would be scared if you? "

" B-Because I killed Yunjin..? "