vent thing i guess

9 3 2

by I_am_a_Frog_

by I_am_a_Frog_

so...

i'm dealing with some problems.

and I came up with the idea to write it

Tws: crying, swears, suicidal thoughts

I did it. Again. AGAIN, after I've told myself countless times-

My breathing quickens and tears run down my face. My hands move to my head and hold it. I'm crying. It's not strange for me to cry after.

Heck, I even expect it.

My hands rest on my knees. The shower water's getting colder slowly. I go from crying to seething with rage.

What's wrong with you?

What have you done?

What's happening to me?

WHY!?

I stand on shaking legs. I bang my fist against the back wall of the shower, muttering to myself angrily.

"You stupid, stupid, stupid b****!" I whisper-scream. I can't yell, my family would hear, and I would be in big trouble.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" My nails dig into my sides and I bend over. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to kill myself.

WHY, WHY, WHY?

I hiss with anger. The one question I can't answer. Why?

I blink, wiping away tears and droplets of shower water. My hand flexes, and my nails quickly scrape at my arms repeatedly. I switch from one arm to the other and scratch until I see blood. I clean the new marks on my arms with water and switch the tap off, getting out of the shower and wrapping a towel around myself, making sure to hide my bleeding forearms with it.

Stupid.

Why?

B****.

Stupid b****.

I decide to put on some music when I enter my room. The song 'I Deserve To Bleed' is echoed by my voice, hoarse with fury and sadness.

I hate myself.

don't worry, none of this never happened :D

please don't pity me, i can work through this myself.

everything's fine with my life and i'm probably fine mentally.

ok bye!