The Winner

Money Can't Buy Me Love

I stare at James while he's sleeping next to me in the hotel room. The hotel room that Nate pays for. I know I can't stay here, even if it's already paid through the year. It's not right. I don't want Nate feeling like he has to provide for me. It's not his job.

While laying on my side, I look at my tattooed Efron and push his hair away from his forehead. He looks so calm and peaceful when he sleeps that it's hard to imagine how he does what he does in bed.

I envy how perfect he is. James never loses his temper, even when he's mad, like he was the other day when I was high.  His mood is even keel at all times. I don't know how I'm ever going to get to the calm level he's at.

I get lost in my own thoughts, not noticing James is awake and studying my face. I snap out of it and stroke his cheek.

"Heyy." I smile at the sleepy man.

"Where do you go when you do that?" He mumbles in his low, raspy morning voice.

"Do what?"

"Zone out like that. You go so far away. What's going through that head of yours?"

"Worry. Anxiety. Thinking too much of what I don't know how to fix. I don't know, it's not a peaceful place." I frown hearing myself say that out loud.

"We're gonna figure it out, ok?" He reassures me and rests his hand on my cheek the same way I'm doing to him. "You're gonna get better. Trust me. You'll get through this."

*****

Nate puts the car keys on the table. 

"Please, will you just keep it?"

I close my eyes, trying to dismiss the fact he's wearing those damn purple pants today. Purple pants, black shirt, unbuttoned, hair perfectly styled. He had a promo interview today and is looking sharp as always.

Nate smiles at me. He wants me to accept this gift, but there's no way I can feel good about it. I know he went out of his way.  I also know his facial expression changed a little when I told him I'm with James exclusively. No more fooling around. No more flirting. I have to be an adult. For once in my fricken life, I have to be an adult and not ruin a good thing. Me and Nate.. we're like a hurricane and a tornado. Destructive apart, mass destruction when together.

"I'm not keeping it, Nate. I can't."

We sit at the same table of that awful café, this time not caring who sees us. It doesn't matter anymore.

Nate picked me up for coffee to talk, grab my health insurance card for Trisha, and now hear that I'm no longer single, in a new Jeep Grand Cherokee. Apparently, that was the "errand" he needed to run yesterday.

"You can. You need a car, Julia. Just accept it. It's already paid for." He slides the keys over to my side of the table. "Please. I want you to have it."

I shake my head, feeling my cheeks flush. No one has ever done anything close to this for me.

"It doesn't feel right. We're not together."

"So what? I told you I was gonna make sure you were all set here. I don't want you to worry about the little shit."

"Little shit? It's a car!" My voice raises accidentally, and the lady behind us turns around. We ignore her.

"Jules," Nate says in almost a whisper. "Remember when I made you Google my Net Worth? Let me do this for you. Hell, I did it for Trisha when she started working for me. I just want to make sure you're all set and get you started on the right foot. That's it, ok? No strings attached."

He takes my hand and puts the car keys in it. We hold hands briefly and I feel Nate's hand shake in mine. We both look down at the tremor.

"Is that a side effect from your heart med or...." I stop mid sentence when he abruptly removes his hand and takes a deep breath in. He knows I've caught on. It's gotten bad.