I feel so sick...
Well I have a few issues to discuss today, even though this won't be read!!
One, it's REALLY fucking hard to balance out two friends that absolutely despise each other!! I can't be involved in two conversations at once, and god IM JUST ONE PERSON!!
one of my friends spoke to me about this today and idk how to fix it!! I can't ignore one or the other!! It's simply the fact that:
1. I talk to whoever talks to me first!! I don't care who, if you talk to me, I'll talk back!!
2. I won't be going to the same school as my other friend next year so I want to get as much time with her as possible!!
3. She doesn't talk to me like my other friend does. She doesn't text me, she doesn't try to reach out, but alice does. And if she invited me out more, I could spend more time with her
Look, I get it, I'm at fault here. But I'm at my fucking limit right now and I haven't been feeling great. I'm trying to fix it, but God I'm being stretched too far. I went to the school dance and I was chasing around my friends the whole time to try and keep them happy!! It's not easy and I'm trying as hard as I can.
Also, why is finding individuality so hard? Everything I've done either gets shoved to the side or it seems like im copying someone (yes, I know everything in the world has been done but I mean people in my friend group), even though I just think it's cool! Playing an instrument? Off limits!! Art styles? Nope!! My art is the ONLY thing I have that's mine. And I'm okay with that. But I want to feel cool and seem cool, but it's hard to do that if someone else you know has already done it because well, it's kinda like their thing. I don't think I'm known for anything apart from my hair. At least that's individual. It feels nice to be noticed. When I went to the Dance tons of people complimented my outfit and I felt great!! But I don't really get a lot of recognition other than that, and it felt nice :)
