Unexpected Love [Kawasumi]

Chapter 12

(Still Kawaki's  POV; )

I buried my face deeper into her chest, feeling all the tension disappear from my body. I was quite groggy, thanks to the alcohol that had already completely penetrated my veins, but I still waited impatiently for her answer. I felt she had something to tell me - so I listened.

- I think... you're as loyal as a dog, but you also can bite like a dog - she said, her voice very calm. 

- Are you comparing me to... a dog? - I asked, confused. 

- Not in the way you think I'm trying to portray. I noticed a long time ago that you are very loyal - and when you care about someone, you are willing to do anything for them, just like a dog. Despite this, you are afraid that someone may hurt you - that's why you "bite" - you are rude, short-tempered and distrustful. 

I wanted to comment on that... but she was absolutely right. Word for word, it's all true. Damn, Sumire really can read me like an open book. I kind of felt like she was talking about my relationship with the Seventh Hokage before the "incident" with me and Boruto. I felt like she might know something about it, but it was hard for me to tell if it was true or if the alcohol had just gotten to my head harder. I sincerely hope it's just a figment of my imagination - and Sumire doesn't know anything about it. If she found out, she would hate me with all her heart. It's all my fault, mine alone. Fuck, this worries me. She is truly precious to me, and I can't imagine losing her because of some stupidity I did years ago.

- But even so, I don't think you're a bad person Kawaki. 

- You really do? - I asked, with audible clear surprise, and I lifted my head heavily looking into her eyes.

She laughed subtly, and after a while she said; 

- Ohh darling, of course I do. 

I felt my face turn red. Did she just calld me... "darling"? Somehow I couldn't process this information for a long moment, and she started laughing even harder.

- What's so funny? - I asked, being frustrated. 

Tears of laughter flowed from her eyes and she wiped them with her hand, trying to calm herself down. 

- I'm sorry - she started - I just couldn't stop laughter when I saw the look on your face. Do you know how adorble you look when you blush? 

- Bark it back! 

- Kawaki-kun, darling, don't be so aloof. 

- I will if you stop calling me that. 

- Why? You don't like it? 

- Well.. just stop. 

- No. 

- What-!? 

- It was a joke, I'll stop. 

She brushed my bangs away from my forehead and kissed me again. She looked happy, which I found quite strange after what had happened earlier in the day. I don't know if it was because of the alcohol I had absorbed, but it was hard for me to understand what she meant. Suddenly, after almost two months of not speaking to each other and avoiding me, Sumire was able to kiss my face and hug me without any problem. I felt like she was doing it very freely. I'm not complaining about it, because as you can guess, I really wanted her to do that. But why was it so easy to explain? I no longer felt ashamed of literally LYING on top of her, with my arms wrapped around her back. I think that for many people a greater source of shame would be the fact that I had one of my legs between hers. It just didn't make much difference to me, and I guess it didn't matter to her either. I would really give a lot to be able to live my life in such a way that she could stroke my hair every day in such a position that is quite unusual for friends. That's right... are we still friends? Friends don't kiss like we did, they don't lay on top of each other like we do - and they don't think about each other the way I think about her. It really boils with anger inside, knowing that even if we wanted to be more together, we can't. There is only one answer, Eida. Because of her, my love and sex life does not exist. And don't take me for some crazy person, but I'm 18 and I've never felt romantically attracted to anyone. Sumire is the first to do so, and I'm fine with that. It's hard to like someone knowing that they can manipulate you, cheat on you, leave you, or even rape you. Don't ask me how I know all this, I can only say that my "childhood" was darker than you thought. Anyway, Sumire is an escape for me from a sad and stressful reality. How will I look into her eyes if the truth comes out? Maybe it's paranoia or I've completely lost my mind, but I would take my life for her if she wanted it. For the Seventh Hokage, I would do the same, but for a different reason. I have never felt so many emotions with one person, and I have never experienced so many impressions and sensations when I felt someone's touch. This has changed. Now, when I'm so damn tired, I still feel a strange feeling of pleasure when I feel the touch of her delicate hands. What haunts me is the sight of her... from that fateful night of our kiss. Please don't make me tell you what I felt when I saw her... well... naked. I'm still trying to push it out of my mind, but it turned me on. I felt this fucking weird feeling below my waist. For God's sake, what the hell am I even talking about? Is this the famous "sexual arousal"? I don't fucking know, you can't explain it to me anyway. 

The melodious sound of her voice brought me out of my deep thoughts; 

- Kawaki-kun, who are we to ourselves? 

- I'd like to know that myself. 

There was a short but stressful silence. We were both deep in thought, searching for answers, until she finally spoke back to me. 

- Does that make me your lover? - she said, with calm in her voice. 

I needed a moment. Fuck, I'll never get drunk again. 

- A "lover"? What the hell is a lover? - I probably sound like a idiot, but I really didn't knew what a lover is. 

- Well... it's a bit hard to explain without knowing your feelings. I don't know how you feel about me, but I could call you my lover.

- You're stupid? Damn, I literally told you that I'm attracted to you. 

I think she just realized what I said earlier. Her face flushed, and she nervously smiled, looking away. 

- So, how do you think I feel about you? - I asked, obviously teasting her. 

- If you told me, I would know. 

Fuck, she's better at this game than I thought. Well, now the real circus will begin, knowing that I can't name my feelings. I can't believe I'm doing this. 

- You're too kind for me. 

I really think that, as a complete idiot, she is too understanding of me. 

- I'd really like to know, why a girl like you would even look at me, the ultimate asshole.

- Because I'm attracted to you. 

Wait... WHAT?! My face was probably priceless. I looked up and was completely shocked and couldn't believe my ears. I felt like I couldn't make a sound and my breathing was rapidly increasing. At this point, my self-control was gone, and without a second thought, I kissed her a second time. It was intense, and full of emotion - and my mind was full of her. Fuck, how I love kissing her. This state was even more exciting because our bodies were so close together. When we were finished, I felt her hand around my neck and her thumb gently brushing my cheek. I definitely liked this gesture. I looked at her with tired eyes and she smiled coquettishly. I did the same, unaware of her reaction. After a while, however, she looked surprised, as if she had seen something fascinating.

- Is that... your smile? - she asked, looking totally puzzled. 

- Yeah, why you're so suprised? 

- You never smiled before, ever once. I can't belive... you just did that. 

- Really? Well, I finally had a reason to smile. 

She laughed softly. Her smile is like a breath of spring, and her voice is soft like a summer rain. Sumire, my dearest person. 

- So back to my earlier question, Kawaki-kun, will you be my lover?

- I am already.

I placed my head back on her chest and felt myself falling asleep instantly. My worries disappeared for a brief moment, but at least I finally felt like someone cared about me. 

I finally felt loved.

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(1525 words) 

Hello! 

I'm really happy that I hit 3k viwes - thank you! I hope you liked this chapter, I'll whrite the next ones as fast as I can 'couse my school year is almost over. But don't be suprised if it'll take long, my youtube chanel is dying lately so I need to make some videos :') 

"See" you in the next chapter! Bye!