open up the door. | billie eilish

2 | call me babydoll

billie's pov

i groan as i hear a knock on the front door. who knocks on the door this damn early?

i slowly roll out of harper's arms, missing her warmth already. i quietly walk out of my room, downstairs to the front door. as i open it, i see finneas.

"why are you, of all people, here?" i sigh, rubbing my temple.

"good morning to you too." finneas just smiles and then looks me up and down. "where is agosti?"

"who?" i smirk.

"you know who." he says, trying to get past me. as he does so, i see his eyes track a figure behind me.

i turn around and harper is in a sports bra, her underwear, and a blanket on her shoulders, hiding her body. we did not do anything last night, but she is sure making it seem like we did.

"finneas?" she says in a raspy voice, rubbing her eyes with her tattooed hand.

"harper agosti!" he yells, walking over to her and pulling her into a hug.

i won't lie, i'm jealous. her ass looks good right now too.

"i'm sorry i wasn't here yesterday," he apologizes.

she just smiles. "don't worry about it, you're here now." i hate the way she looks at him. it's not even romantic- just pure admiration.

"harps, you want me to make you food?" i ask her, using her nickname i used to call her all the time when we were younger.

"yes please! can you make pancakes?" her eyes light up.

"of course." i slightly smile while making my way into the kitchen, grabbing the ingredients.

i will never forgive myself for what i did to her. for five years, i practically ghosted her. i didn't know i liked her, i just knew that i didn't want to feel that way about her. i mean, i didn't even want to come out yet but that happened around november-december of 2023. but for a year, i realized that i really did like her, and i couldn't do anything to stop it. i don't know how to apologize for it either.

'hey i liked you our entire childhood but i didn't know i was gay until last year, so sorry!'

fuck no.

while i'm starting the pancakes, harper and finneas sit down at the island, telling my alexa to play ocean eyes.

"billie, you know you have ocean eyes, right?" harper says. i hear finneas snicker as my cheeks heat up some.

"do you even know what that song means?" i ask her, knowing damn well i don't care what she thinks it means.

i've said this before and i'll say it again- my music is up for anyone's interpretation.

"well duh, it means that you have a crush on someone and they have ocean eyes and you like them" she replies.

"yeah so by you saying she has ocean eyes, you also mean you have a crush on her" finneas tells her.

her face immediately goes pink. this is priceless, i think.

"that's not what i meant!" she yells.

i giggle and give her and finneas their own plate of pancakes. damn, i love when she yells.

***

finneas got an important call and had to leave, so it was just me and her now.

"don't you have somewhere to be?" she says, putting one of my shirts on as i sit down on my bed.

"no, i cleared my entire week to be with you." i grumble. "you couldn't of put a shirt on earlier? around finneas?"

"why would i? he's seen me naked."

"what?"

"he walked in on me changing when we were younger, it's fine. plus, he doesn't even like me like that."

yeah, but you're mine.

"still." is all i manage to say.

"you're kind of possessive today." she says, walking closer to me.

my legs are wide open and i have my arms and hand gripping the bed, holding up my weight. she steps in between my legs, making me want to fold right then and there. she puts a hand on my chin, lifting my head up to look her in the eyes.

"y-yeah." i mumble, trying to break eye contact.

"eilish. look at me when i talk to you." fuuckkkk.

"okay." i follow her instructions like a damn dog.

she just stands there, in between my legs, stroking my cheek with her thumb.

"why did you ghost me?" she murmurs.

i swallow hard. "i-" i pause. "you know how i was forced to come out?

"yeah?" she frowns. i know she's mad about that being released to the public.

"you were the first girl i ever liked."

a smile unfolds on her face. "really?"

i nod, not knowing what else to say.

she stops stroking my cheek and leaves my legs, sitting next to me. i watch her carefully as she puts her head on my shoulder.

"you were one of my best friends, harps. i didn't know how i felt and i didn't want to feel it between you. i didn't want to ruin our friendship." i rant. "maybe it's because i'm famous now or something, but i only realize now it was selfish of me. i didn't think about you, only me. this is me saying i'm sorry."

"it's okay. you were figuring yourself out. you still are." is all she says.

***

harper's pov

did billie fucking eilish just confess her feelings for me?

i know i know- i've known billie my entire life, but it's just different.

anyways, it's 1 am, and me and billie are cuddling in her room. we watched a movie and then got tired, so now she's just sleepily laying on me.

this girl used to be in love with me, and i completely ignored it.

but i'd give up anything for her. she was one of my best friends too.

"babydoll?" she whispers, lifting her head up.

"what'd you say?" i smirk.

"oh- nothing." she murmurs before putting her head back down.

"call me that again." i command.

"call you what?" she asks innocently.

"call me babydoll."

---

1015 words

jaelzver - may 11th 2024

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