Why her?

chapter four-Yuris pov

After Natsuki and Sayori left, Yuri started packing up, carefully collecting her books and sliding them into her bag, zipping it up and throwing it over her shoulder.

As soon as she's about to step out of the classroom, Monika sets a hand on her shoulder.

"Yuri, can we talk?"

...

"What? Monika- no- shes going to be pissed!" Yuris eyes widen and she taps her pen on the desk.

"I know, I know, but it would be good for you two."

Monika had told Yuri about how her and Sayori were planning to pair up Natsuki and Yuri for festival preparations, this may not be the best idea but it might make them come closer. The festival is only a few weeks away and Monika had already planned what she was going to do with Sayori. This left Yuri and Natsuki, they had to work together.

"Monika, i would gladly work with you or Sayori- i mean- Natsuki wont agree, there's no way." Yuri plays with the ends of her hair, picking at her lip and peering down at the floor. "What if she ends up hating me more? What if she thinks i'm weird then ends this friendship for good, if you can even call it that- she told me that i keep trying to one up her when that isn't true, what if she thinks that i'm mocking her or trying to be better than her? Oh monika I don't think I can do this-"

Monika cuts off Yuris rambling, "Yuri, there's no other solution i can think of, its either this or you both keep the same relationship you have now. Constantly fighting, making each other cry, pointing out each others insecurities. Do you really want that?"

Yuri goes silent and the rhythm of her tapping pen stops, She shakily sighs then nods. "You're right. Thank you, Monika."

Monika stands up and hugs Yuri, patting her before grabbing her book bag. "Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow, Yuri!"

Monika walks out, leaving Yuri and her thoughts in the corner of the room. Yuri stands up and collects herself before walking out of the classroom, her shoes clicking on the floor while she walks through the halls. Her mind is moving at the speed of light, was she really going to get to work with Natsuki? Could this form a friendship with her? She wants that so badly, but what if her anxiety takes over, forcing her into a small, suffocating, bubble. It hurts, it always hurts. Her heart pounds in her chest, once she's outside she stumbles over her feet, rushing to get home. The air is too humid, her uniform feels too tight, tears swell at her eyes and she feels like shes trapped.

Why would Natsuki even want to be around her? Could she impress her? Make her happy somehow? The bubble becomes smaller, and smaller, and smaller.

She finally gets home, she's greeted by the cool air in her home, she closes the door and slides down the wall, trying to gather her thoughts and calm down before she does anything else.

"Everything's okay.. I'm okay.. I'm okay..." She mutters reassurances to herself, the pounding of her heart slowing down. Her bubble expands, letting her breathe.

Yuri slips her shoes off and walks upstairs, starting on her homework and trying to find an idea for a new poem. One that would impress Natsuki, one that wasn't as complex and dark as hers usually were.