On That Day We | sakook

chapter 33.

a/n: photo not mine! i got it from a random reviewer of the original place called sinki industry cafe

　
　
Jungkook's POV

　
　
I was surprised to get a call from her yesterday. I was actually planning to talk to her to say sorry about how I acted on the beach the other night.

I kept thinking about the things I said to her.

I shouldn't have told her those words and gotten so upset. I shouldn't have just walked away like that.

But then again, it just felt really overwhelming and suffocating that night. It was as if they were strangling me, tightening around my neck like an invisible noose. Each word coming out of her seemed to pile on top of the other, and I could feel the weight pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe.

I knew deep down that I could've handled it better, maybe with more grace or composure, but in that moment, it felt impossible.

Despite ny actions, I felt thankful that she even wanted to meet and talk with me today.

But to be honest, her presence was making me feel suffocated.

I couldn't pinpoint why exactly, but seeing her stirred up emotions and pain in ways I couldn't explain.

The day had just begun, but it was already proving to be stressful enough. The usual hustle and bustle of the restaurant had worn me down, but I decided to shove these problems aside for now. I knew I had to focus on our talk today, hoping that addressing one source of stress might help alleviate some of the tension I felt inside.

After I finished my duties at the restaurant, I took her to Kim Daily for brunch. I figured she might appreciate a short tour of some of the places she always frequented before.

"The atmosphere and the drinks, that's what always drew you here," I said, sliding into a vacant table. "Gets packed in the afternoons, so I figured earlier was better."

Sana's gaze swept the room, a soft smile gracing her lips. "This place is beautiful. So cozy and clean, I can see why I loved it here before..."

"Glad you still feel the same way about this place," I replied.

"Even if my memories got erased," she said, her eyes bright and wide with wonder as they looked at me. "I guess I'll still end up loving the things I loved before." A hopeful smile bloomed on her face as her eyes bore deep into mine.

Hearing those words strangly caused a tight knot in my chest, a confusing mix of emotions swirling inside me.

I looked away, because I couldn't hold her gaze any longer. My eyes instead darted up at the menu.

Taking a deep breath, I forced a smile. "What would you like to eat?"

Sana furrowed her brow as she studied the menu, her lips pursed in thought. A few quiet moments passed before she peeked up at me, a hesitant smile playing on her lips. "Hmm, I don't know what to choose," she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. "I'm not that hungry anyway..." she trailed off, her voice fading even quieter.

"Are you sure?" I asked and she gave me a meek nod.

"Alright," I replied. "Let me just grab you your favorite drink, sound good?"

With a small nod of approval from her, I rose from my seat and walked towards the counter, the cafe's background chatter and clatter of dishes receding as I approached.

"Hi, Chaeyoung! Good morning!" I greeted the barista with a smile. She had been working here as a barista for years, way before I even discovered this café.

A warm smile spread across Chaeyoung's face as she spotted me approaching the counter. Her cheeks crinkled at the corners, revealing two cute dimples. "Hey Jungkook, good morning! What can I get you today?" she chimed, her voice bright and cheerful.

"Can I get an iced americano for myself, and a grapefruitade, please?"

Chaeyoung tapped on the register screen. "Taking it to go?" she asked to confirm.

I shook my head. "No, we'll be staying here," I replied.

Her eyebrows shot up a little in surprise. "Oh really? Are you on a date?" she teased, her eyes scanning the tables behind me.

Her jaw dropped slightly and a gasp escaped her lips as she spotted Sana. "Is that... Sana?" she whispered, her voice tinged with disbelief.

"Yeah, it's her."

Chaeyoung's surprised gaze switched back to me. "When did she come back?" she whispered, her voice filled with curiosity.

"Uh, maybe a month or so ago?" I mumbled.

"Wow, really? It's been ages! I missed her so much."

She punched in the order and quickly printed out the receipt before handing it to me. "Psst! Sana!" she called out in a hushed, but still slightly loud, voice, cupping her hand around her mouth.

Sana turned at the sound, her face filled with confusion as she looked at us.

It was completely understandable. Of course, she wouldn't recognize her.

I leaned closer to Chaeyoung and spoke in a low voice, "Actually, Sana has amnesia. She... she can't remember you," I sighed, "or me."

Chaeyoung's eyes widened even further. "No way!" she exclaimed, her voice dropping to a surprised whisper. "What happened to Sana? Is she okay?"

The concern in her voice was clear. I took a deep breath and explained, "She was in a car accident a few years back. It left her with amnesia, so..." I trailed off, unsure how much to reveal.

Chaeyoung's worried expression softened a little, replaced by a mix of curiosity and understanding. "Oh wow," she murmured, "That's terrible... So that's why you two are together? Are you helping her get her memories back?"

"It's a little more complicated than that," I chuckled nervously, running a hand through my hair. "It's a long story, but let's just say I'm trying to help her in any way I can."

After our drinks arrived, the clinking of glasses filled the brief silence. I took a sip of my iced americano as the distant murmur of conversation from nearby tables created a low hum in the background.

Needing to break the ice, I cleared my throat. "Before you tell me what you wanted to talk about," I began, my voice taking on a hesitant tone as my gaze locked onto hers, "I wanted to apologize for the other night. Those words I said, they were...too harsh. I was overwhelmed, yes, but that's no excuse." Taking a deep breath, I continued, "Maybe I had a little too much to drink too... But I'm truly sorry if anything I said hurt you. I accept your apology, Sana. In fact, I already forgave you a long time ago."

Saying those words felt wrong.

It wasn't that I was pretending everything was okay, but I still found it hard to face her like this.

People told me I'm hard to read, and they're probably right. I was confused by my own thoughts and feelings too.

I wanted to believe that I was okay, but why did it feel like I was lying to her?

Why did I feel like the hurt was still there, a hidden but present ache in my chest?

Why did it feel like I had just pushed those feelings down deep, burying them under layers of smiles and laughter?

Why did it feel like I was wearing a mask, hiding these emotions a little too well?

And why did it feel so heavy, as if the mask had grown thicker and more suffocating with time?

Why did I sometimes wish she would never recover her memories, so I wouldn't have to face the girl I had grown to hate over the years?

Ever since she came back, every laugh felt forced, every smile felt painful, like a crack in the mask that only I could see.

The heaviness in my chest grew, as if the emotions I buried were suffocating me, slowly eroding the person I built myself to be.

I wished I was the one who had forgotten everything.