Don't Poke the Bear!

Chapter 37

MAVIS BEECHUM IS upset her layin' hen went missin'. Bill Hardy wants to register an assault charge against Gideon Rigby for givin' him a black eye. Two angry neighbors want me to ride out to their place to make a rulin' on a fence line. I decide to go with 'em, since it ain't far, and because it'll help establish my alibi when the town discovers Bose Rennick has escaped.

I tell the rest of the complainers I'll be back in an hour. I also ask someone to volunteer to sit in the kitchen with Wing Ding till I get back. One of the card table groups says they'll all go in there and sit if they can play cards and drink some free whiskey. I offer 'em a bottle, and they move their game into the kitchen.

"Leave the main door open, boys!" I call to 'em, so everyone from the main room can walk in and out as they please. The more activity, the better the alibi.

When I get back from rulin' on the fence line, I find a small mob in the main room.

"Where you been?" Ben Dover yells.

There's probably twenty of 'em, and a half-dozen more in the kitchen. Some of my regular customers walk over and stand next to me.

"I appreciate that," I say, "But I'm no longer sheriff." I take the cloth badge out of my pocket and hand it to Ben, who appears to be leadin' the mob.

"I ain't takin' this," Ben says. "But we aim to take your prisoner and hang him."

"Take him then," I say, "but it's on you when the Marshall shows up and asks about it."

"I reckon he'll blame you," Ben says.

"Not if I ain't the sheriff."

"Where's the Mayor?" Ben says.

Everyone looks around, but no one sees him.

Ben frowns and says, "I reckon the Marshall and Governor can't punish the entire town. Plus, there's no judge to hear the case anyway."

We all stand there a minute, and Ben says, "What if we open the hatch and let him try to escape?"

"If you're gonna gun him down, make sure he's outdoors first," I say.

"Done."

He turns to the mob and shouts, "How about it, are you with me?"

They all let out a hoo-raw.

"Okay then, let's get him!"

They open the hatches and see nothin', 'cept a small area under the second hatch that's been dug away. Ben makes all the shocked noises you'd expect him to make, then gets on his hands and knees and looks into the hole, where the earth has been dug away, and follows the path with his eyes.

Ben says, "Best I can tell, he's dug himself out and traveled under the floor, toward the back. Some of you need to go outside and see if there's a hole where he's busted out. If not, he's still under the foundation somewhere!"

Within seconds someone finds the hole Shrug kicked open when he broke out.

Forty men are now lookin' around in the open area behind the buildin'. One of 'em yells, "There's someone hidin' in the out house."

Ben Dover rushes over and yells, "You inside the shit house! Come out right now!"

From inside, a huge voice roars back, "Stand back, or you'll wish you had!"

"That's Bose Rennick's voice!" someone shouts. "I'd recognize it anywhere!"

The crowd begins shooting into the out house from all angles. They fire about fifty rounds before Ben gets them to stop.

"He's either dead by now, or jumped into the shit hole," he says.

Someone kicks the door open and tentatively looks down into the shit hole. "He's in there all right, but it ain't Bose Rennick!"

"Well, who the hell is it?" Ben yells.

"The Mayor. And he's in deep shit!"