All I need is my irish girl 🍀

☾ the song of heart ☽

CW/TW: Signs of physical abuse/possible selfharm!
There will be another notice where, so you could skip the part if you're not in the right mindset to read it. <3
If anyone needs somebody to talk to, feel free to reach out!

I can't stop smiling as I just drop Clodagh at her drive way.
The way her beautiful emerald green eyes looked at me and how her blonde-brown hair fell on her shoulder really made the butterflies in my belly go crazy.
She was slightly smaller than me so I could hold her perfectly. And her smile was so sweet and small... And now I know, I am falling for her.
My smile still didn't leave my mouth as I enter my house. My mam stands in the hallway, sorting out letters. "Hey my little sun-bun. How was school?" I feel her pulling me into a tight hug. Her smile is just as bright as mine.
I hug her back "It was grand Mam!"

"Grand? Oh Sorscha, don't give away too much of it." my dad said jokingly out of the kitchen.
"Hey Pa! My day was lovely. I've met my new classmate Clodagh. And she was the sweetest girl to ever walk on these schoolgrounds! Her eyes were shining, a perfect copy of a beautiful forest! The blonde of her hair is my new favourite colour! I was allowed to bring her home! She only lives 4 houses away!!!" I couldn't contain my excitement anymore.
"Sounds like our little sun-bun is in love and Clodagh sounds wonderful already! Are you picking her up tomorrow?" my Mam asks curiously.
"I wanted to ask her but coumdn't. I think I'll wait for her tomorrow. She can then easily join!"

My parents agree and nod.
My coming out to them once happened while I was tipsy. I just stepped up to them and looked them dead in the eye. "Mam, Pa. Theodore and I broke up. Long ago. I kissed a girl. I am gay."
They looked at each other and then at me. "You like girls?" my Mam was the first one to speak and I nodded proudly "Well then, we at least now know, why you've never checked out the guys at our pub." my Pa said jokingly.
That was it. And ever since then I was out and proud. Luckily I never had to fear that they won't accept me.
We sat down and started eating Dublin coddle. My absolute favourite meal.

After the food we clean the dishes and I walk in my room, starting to play some chords on my guitar. I was thinking about her, about Clodagh, and just played. The chords create a song so happy and soft as she is. A song so mysterious and bright.
I take out my notebook, instantly writing the chords down, wanting to remember them forever.
The song of heart. Of my heart and the feeling of Clodagh. I can't stop smiling thinking about that girl. She stepped into my life and turned my whole world upside down.
I lay back and fall asleep happily, thinking about her.
The next morning my alarm wakes me up and I speed rush to get ready for a new day.

I just make a quick stop in our kitchen to snack something and then walk up to Clodaghs house. I even picked up a Daisy on my way. It's just a small gesture, but I want her to feel special. I stand and wait for at least 20 minutes. She was nowhere near coming out.
"Hey! You girl! Get out of my drive way now! Or I'll call the police!" An angry male voice yelled at me.
I quickly look at him, noticing Clodagh behind him and I smile.
"Are you deaf?! Get away now!!" He takes a step out and I speed away. What was that?! And why was that?
I speed walk to school only to meet up with Jenny, Toby and Cathy.

"Hey Sorsch' where's Clodagh? Thought our Amor's going to pick her up?" Toby asks playfully. "And I was... but was shooed away from the drive way..."
Just in the moment Clodagh walks past me, not even giving us a look.
"That doesn't look too good..." Jenny states in a dry voice. I just hit her shoulder and growl. "Póg Mo Thóin" is all I have to say to her as we enter the school.
I sit down in my seat Clodagh at hers. I look at her and she seems to avoid my gaze. I am upset by this, but knowing that pushing someone won't help, I just wait until she speaks up by herself. But that doesn't happen. She just sits there avoiding me.

In our lunchbreak I finally feel brave enough. "Clodagh. What is going on today?" No answer. No reaction. "Clodagh?! Did I do something wrong yestersay? Was the nickname too much?"
She finally looks at me. Her beautiful emerald green eyes are staring at me in a stern and cold way.
"Sorscha. Just drop it for gods sake. I just want my peace!" I am shocked and take a step back "Alright... I am sorry for pushing you."
She still looks at me with her now cold eyes "You should be."
I feel a sharp pain in my chest and let her stand there without another word.
Jenny instantly runs after me. I am just shocked and in pain. "Sorscha? What happened? Do you wanna talk?"

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"No, I just want to go home. This really hurts..."
What I didn't know at that moment was, that Clodagh left to go home.
As Jenny and myself come back out of the bathroom we notice Clodaghs empty chair. And even though I am still in pain I couldn't help but worry about her. Why was she so different now? And what happened last night?
"Sorscha? As Clodagh stumbled into me on the hallway I noticed some bruises and scratchmarks on her arms. They looked fresh..."
A cold shiver runs down my spine and after this morning I have a suspicion. I need to get out of school now! "Guys, I need to get going! Say that I felt really sick if anyone asks, please!"

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And with that I run off. I look around the streets, everywhere just to see if she was still around. Nothing. I start to feel very frustrated and angry.
I stop infront of their drive way. There is no car. The house seems quiet.
Where are they?! Where could Clodagh be? My mind runs wild and I start to worry about her. My life was always really calm and gentle to me. But at this very moment I feel anxiety creeping up. The deep sorrow what happened to my... to Clodagh. Was it her father? Or her mother?
I sit down really really frustrated and stare at their drive way, hoping whoever will come home soon. I want to confront them. But no one came.

A/N
A little Cliffhanger here. What do you guys think, will Sorscha be able to do something against that. And will they figure out a way to kwwp going?
Take care,
theLesbianBean <33