All I need is my irish girl 🍀

✫ Quinn Autumn Doyle ☽

✫ We still stare at our new born family member, our little daughter. I didn't know this type of love is possible but our little girl proves me completely wrong. We already knew her name will be Quinn but Sorscha asked if we could add Autumn as a middle name. She told me about Autumns undying support but also about her loss. It wasn't even a question for me, of course I agree. It sounds right.
"Quinn Autumn Doyle. Love it suits her perfectly I love it! Just as much as I love her. And you of course." Sorscha states and looks at Quinn and me again.
"Love I'm so proud of you and us as a tiny little family. I've always dreamed of having this."

I smile at the irish woman infront of me and back to our baby. She has the same gingery hair as my wife.
God I love her hair. I love her tiny little nose. I love her cheeks. I love her mini hands. And I love the quiet little squeaks she makes.
"She is so perfect... she looks like an angel.. and I really love her. Babe! How can we both have created such a perfect new life?"
Sorscha smiles at me and hugs me tightly but so very carefully. Our tiny bean is laying on my chest and looks to latch on which ends up being Sorschas finger. We both giggle as I help our tiny baby Quinn to finally latch on and drink.

I close my eyes with Quinn on my chest and Sorscha holding both of us really really tight. I hear her whisper some sweet nothings.
"Oh my baby... You have the best Mami you could've wished for. She is so strong and capable of basically everything. Honestly I have no idea what I'd do without your Mami... She is just my only reason to never lose my mind after dealing with those parents at the nursery...
Why am I even thinking about them right now, Quinnie?!"
Our little girl makes some noises and Sorscha giggles. If only she knew what will come next.
Quinn brings out her milk again and it lands all over Sorschas jumper. I open my eyes again and look at her.

"Oh Quinn! That was... so obvious."
Her nose is scrunched up and she takes off the jumper. Luckily she is wearing a shirt underneath it.
"A warm welcoming now is it?"
She gives me an angry but still very very gentle look.
"Well aren't you funny. It's bad enough that the nursery children throw up all over me on daily basis. But why does our little bean has to do the same? Why, why you adorable tiny little bundle of pure cuteness and joy?"
Her voice got higher and higher and she just couldn't be mad at our daughter, just as she could never be mad at me.
"She's got you wrapped around her tiny fingers already. And we all know that, am I right?"

She nods and rolls her eyes.
"Yes mo stoirín you are. I would do absolutely anything for you two."
I smile and take her hand in mine. I stroke over it and muster her carefully just as our baby does. I can already tell I will be the best Mami with her. She is the one giving me strength and hope. She is the one making me feel so loved and strong.
Without her I probably wouldn't be here today. She is the one giving me all the energy in my life, just like the sun. Sun-bun indeed.
"Sorscha? Quinn and I love you more than anything..."
She smiles and kisses me again.
"I love you two so much too... try to rest babe."

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☾ Not even 5 minutes after I told her to rest there are some very soft snorrs coming from both of my girls.
She truly needed that rest and I am glad to see she finally gets it.
I am still so wide awake, knowing that I am a Mam now and that our little girl is already the most precious thing in our lives.
I watch both of them for a little while longer and smile softly placing a tiny little peck on Clodaghs and Quinns head. She sirrs a little and squeaks quietly.
"Shhh shhh sleep my baby... you and Mami need rest..."
I start humming a lullaby for her and it seems to work wonders. She is instantly back asleep and I smile.

After another 5 minutes of me just staring at them not being able to believe I am this lucky. I get to be a Mam. A true Mam. I will make sure my little princess will be safe until- no. She was just born. Nothing will happen to my baby!
I sneak out of the room and take my phone out of my bag. I see over 100 messages from my mam and smile widely. I love that she is so invested.
I text her back: "Hiya Mam. You're a grandmama now. Our little girl, she is called Quinn Autumn. Clods and her are asleep and safe. I love you Mams be safe!"
I send the message and re-mute my phone again. Good decision.

Not even 5 seconds later I see another 70+ messages.
I giggle quietly and then see my contact list. "The nursery"
I click on call and wait to hear her voice and favourite sentence.
"Hello the Knight nursery."
"Hiya Marjorie... I'm a Mam!" I smile and let out a lound and reliefed breath. I am a Mam!
"Oh my god congratulations! How is your baby and how is Clodagh?! Are they alright??" I can hear her excitement and every bottled up emotion coming out and update her on Clo and our baby.
"Marjorie? Could you pass me to Autumn please...?"
I know she is not my best friend but she got me here and she deserves to be the one to know her name first.

"Hello Sorscha... Congratulations." Her voice is calm and quiet but I can feel the heavy emotions behind it.
"Thanks uhm... I just wanted to thank you again for getting me here so quick. Even if it meant running through a few red lights. Because by the time I got here I got scrubbed up and into there... They were just about to start so thank you for not letting me miss it."
I am honestly thankful. I know how hard it must've been for her. She doesn't know it yet but I know how it feels to lose a baby... or not to be able to have one of your own.
"Glad I could help." Is all she says about it. Her pained voice audible.

"Listen, I know you're not one for emotion or anything but I wanted you to be the first to know that uhm... our little girl... she's called Quinn Autumn Doyle."
I stare against the wall, too scared of what Autumn might say or think. Hoping she will approve.
Silence, all I hear is silence.
"I hope that's okay..." I break the silence and my hand shakes madly. She is quiet. She hates it!
"It's a very good name."
I let out a relaxed breath and smile widely. She approved! Our little girl can proudly carry the name of one of the strongest women I know.
"We think so too!" I smile widely and grin hoping around still very overwhelmed and just happy to have her.

"I'll pass you back to Marjorie now."
"Be safe Autumn!"
Marjorie and I keep talking for a little while and we make sure they can meet our tiny new family member soon. As I sneak back in the room after hanging up I see Clodagh sitting there with Quinn in her arms having skin to skin contact just like she did with me several times in our past. I love seeing my two girls and I know both of them have me wrapped all around their fingers.
And I couldn't be happier.
"Autumn, Marjorie and Ma said congratulations! And they are all so very proud of us! Especially of you!! As am I!! Ma wants to come over and help us."
Clodagh nods and smiles.

A/N:
Finally!! Yes I am still alive, I just had some very very busy days!
I hope you're alright and had a good time! I love you!
theLesbianBean <3