Back and Forth (A Castle Fanfiction)

Blame

As Kate laid on the table, her heart barely beating on it's own, her body completely limp, her blood soaking the table. The EMTs began listing off what information they had about the accident and about the victim herself before the doctors took over. They were all slightly disheartened by the fact that she was a nineteen year old trauma victim who was thirty-four weeks pregnant and hadn't been out of the hospital for a full week yet. Still, they acted the same way they would with any patient and rigged her up with a heart monitor as well as strapping a fetal monitor around her stomach. Given where she had sustained the impact, they knew one of their priorities would have to be to deliver that baby as soon as possible. The moment they were sure about the move, they were shipping her off to the O.R and handing Jim paperwork he wasn't at all ready to sign, but had to do so for her sake.

Upstairs, in the O.R, there was an absolute mess of mutilated skin around Kate's left side and working around the wounds without causing her to loose any more blood than she had to while still getting to the infant as quick as possible was a severe challenge. Kate's heart was barely beating through the majority of the operation, and the moment they had the baby in their hands, the moment they realized he wouldn't cry, before his umbilical cord was even cut, her heart stopped for the third time. The team split into two, one tending to the newborn whose lips were turning blue as he remained unresponsive, the other attempting to recharge a new mother's heart as they hurried to stop as much of the bleeding as they could.

This whole operation seemed like a bloodbath as they rushed to cauterize what internal bleeds they could, and applied pressure to what they couldn't. Three shocks later, her heart was pumping once more, but she still had a mountain to climb.

On the other side of the room, the teams worked to quickly intebate the newborn, just trying to get the premature child to breathe. He wouldn't work with them. Instead, he struggled to survive. The only good thing they noticed was that he looked uninjured. Then again, given what happened, they never really knew what was going on inside the body. He just didn't sustain any external or bone trauma.

When Rick arrived at the hospital with Alexis in his arms, he rushed toward the nearest information desk, but was simply told she was in surgery and he would have to wait for the doctors to give him any news. To him it felt as though this was the worst thing he could have possibly heard in that moment, but- if she was in surgery, she was still alive. She wasn't dead. She was still alive.

When the writer found the chairs he had been told to sit in to wait, his daughter finally looked back at her father with tear-filled eyes, asking, "Daddy, is mommy going to die?"

He looked down into her eyes and breathed, swallowing the pain she was unintentionally causing him and telling her the only thing he could think of. "I don't know, sweetheart. But- no matter what, I promise you, it's all going to be alright. I promise."

"But- if mommy dies, will you get sick like Jim?"

The writer again had to swallow at the though, blinking to release another pair of tears as he told her, "Never, sweetheart. Okay? I will never do that." He pulled her in close and held her tight as she clung to his neck and tried to believe his every word, but failed.

As he held onto his baby girl, he thought about everything he had dreamed of with Kate, and with Henry. He dreamed of the baseball games. He dreamed of the Comic-Con trips. He dreamed of the days just laying on the couch, holding his son and his wife while she held their daughter nice and close. He dreamed of all of this coming to an end, and losing everything he never got to hold. He couldn't bare the thought. He couldn't imagine losing her. So, in a moment of desperation, he prayed that if her life or their son's was about to be taken from the earth that instead he be struck down, and the beatings of his heart and the life-giving breath within his lungs be stripped from him and his soul could be taken in place of his lover or his son. He prayed that they would make it. He prayed that this would not be the end for either of them. He prayed for their safety, and instead found that her father was the only immediate answer he got.

The writer then had to pull his daughter off of himself and let her down. "What happened," the writer snarled.

Jim simply stumbled over his word, stuttering, "I-... I-..."

The writer snapped, grabbing the man's shirt and pinning him against the wall as he bellowed out, "What did you do?!"

Immediately, Alexis called after her father, "Daddy, stop!" It didn't work. The eyes he drew of everyone around him didn't stop him either. He was too irate.

As he seethed fire, Jim mumbled, "This is all my fault," in a spout of tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Rick then ripped him away from the wall and threw him to the ground, screaming, "How could you?! She trusted you! She was there to look out for you, and you did this to her?!"

"Daddy, please, stop it," Alexis called, scared beyond anything she had ever felt.

Jim then looked into the inhuman gaze the writer dawned and told him, "I made a mistake, Rick. And I know you're in pain, but don't make my mistakes too."

The writer then bit his snarling, desperate lip, and for a moment, considered continuing until Jim's face was unrecognizable. However, he simply looked up at Alexis once, and guilt set in more deeply than wrath ever could. His fists loosened. His heart rate dropped. His pain took over again as helplessness, and he looked at his daughter, telling her, "I'm so sorry, Alexis. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. It's all over now. I promise," as he lifted her from the seats and up to his chest.

He then looked down at Jim and told him, "The moment we know that she's alright, I want you gone. And if I ever see you come anywhere near my family again, Kate and I will both file for restraining orders. Have I made myself clear?"

The man choked a bit and understood the rage, but had no time to respond before a man in a white coat called, "Katherine Beckett?"

Instantly Rick looked up. "That's us."

Immediate a man and a woman headed their direction, one with a white coat, both in navy surgical scrubs, and both with expressionless faces. "You are..."

"Her fiancé. Henry is my son. What's going on? How are they?"

The two looked at each other, and the woman went first. As she spoke, Rick world stopped spinning the moment her first words were, "I'm terribly sorry..."
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A.N: ....Soooo.... don't hate me too much, but I'm not 100% certain I will get another chapter up before I have to leave for work, which means y'all might not hear from me for four or five days.... I will try to possibly write another chapter during my time up there and post it when I get service, but it will be difficult. I will do the best that I can to make sure this cliffhanger is resolved as soon as possible. Thank you for understand and thank you for reading. I hope you've enjoyed thus far and continue to enjoy from this point forward. :) :)