Tick Tock Part Four - The Mouse Fell Down

Any Price

Gavin wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or indifferent to finding out the suited man had actually been a piece of shit. Upon returning to his room, still shellshocked by the experience, Jack had gently led him through to the bathroom and helped him bathe. Losing himself in the slide of skin and tangle of tongues was the only way Gavin could keep a grip on reality. Had he really shot a man? A helpless civilian? Tears stained his cheeks as he came, shuddering against Jack's shoulder and clinging to his neck. Jack had hushed and reassured him afterwards, telling him how good he'd been and how pleased the Hickory Killer was. The Hickory Killer's pleasure wasn't exactly Gavin's priority, especially not while trying to hold on to what little sanity he had left.

He still couldn't work it out. Had he pulled the trigger? Or was it the Hickory Killer? He'd held his hand, keeping his aim steady as he'd stared wide-eyed down the barrel. A shiver ran down his spine at the memory of those wide hazel eyes, lit with a frenzy of terror at what he knew was coming. The memory of tingles on his skin made his stomach churn. Warm fingers pressing and circling his nipples, a light touch making his side ache. He could still feel the trigger against his finger. Who pulled it? Was it me? Was it him? Did I just kill a man?

He knew nothing about him. Was he an average Joe, or a dressed up criminal? Did it even matter? Whoever he was, he'd had a life. Were there people who would miss him? Friends? Siblings? A wife? Were there people relying on him for survival? Parents? Children? Did the man have a steady job? Was he part of the underground? Did he deserve to die? Who am I to decide that? I'm a phcking cop, not God! Even though there was no blood on his hands, he could feel the stickiness there. He balled his fists, trying to ignore it.

"You did the right thing, Gavin...He was a terrible human being, with hundreds of lives on his hands." Another serial killer? "His fraudulent practices made many suffer. He stole millions, leaving families destitute, children homeless, invalids without the funds to pay for their care." Alright, he was a piece of shit, but that still didn't justify killing him. Arresting him, using the proof to take him down, that was justice. Vigilante justice was illegal for a reason. Much as he could understand those who took things into their own hands, that didn't make it right. I didn't even know the guy was a piece of shit when I-He didn't even know if he'd pulled the trigger. Telling himself it was for Kitty didn't even help anymore. It didn't feel like it justified it. But Kitty definitely would have died if I hadn't! The Hickory Killer had already proven how ruthless he could be. "Think of how many people you've saved."

That didn't justify it! Not even saving Kitty really justified it. Guilty or innocent, the weight of the life on his conscious was just as heavy. How did the Hickory Killer live like this? Why didn't he feel it? Each new body seemed to make his step lighter, freeing him of his daily repression. All Gavin could think was that he'd been wired wrong. This couldn't be learned behaviour. How could any normal, sane human being murder another and not feel shitty about it? Strong hands on his hips dragged him back against a firm pelvis, both of them covered with towels. Gentle kisses assaulted his neck, doing their best to soothe him.

"You did the right thing, Gav...Kitty is safe. Think of all those people he's been stealing money from...He can never hurt anyone else...Never leave more children out on the streets, or take from the sick and dying...You stopped that." I stopped that? He had stopped that. Maybe that was better. Less suffering was good, right? The needs of the many and all that..."Good boy, Gav." With a pat on his ass, Jack ushered him through to the bedroom so they could dress. Staying with him had become a regular occurrence. He rarely left unless it was mealtime or the Hickory Killer was paying a visit. Gavin shivered. That usually led to bad things.

Jack cupped his cheeks when they were done, sharp eyes scanning him. He was looking peaky, which was to be expected, considering how long he'd been locked in the windowless room. Vitamins were added to his food to compensate, but it really wasn't a substitute for fresh air and sunshine. With any luck, their situation would change soon. It shouldn't take too long. By his estimation, Gavin had been waning for some time. He would doubtless come around to their way of thinking soon enough. Gavin closed his eyes as Jack's cool hand caressed his stubble, thumb moving to linger on his bottom lip.