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Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I'm such an emotional wreck.

I hate this.

I fvcking hate this.

I love how my mind can wander into wonders.

I hate the thoughts.

I love how I get to think at night.

I hate how the night got me thinking.

I fvcking hate late night wonders.

It triggers me into crying.

Fvck.

I'm a wreck inside.

It got me thinking.

I've been building this wall up.

So much high that I think I was already drowning.

All of these feelings and emotions were bottled up inside me.

Will I ever be free?

I feel like it will burst out one day.

Like, I'll burst out someday from all the chaos that's hurting me inside.

No one cares enough to understand.

I don't want them to though.

I'm enough trouble.

There's no reason for them to be troubled for what I feel.

Fvck.

My feelings are a mess.

I'm a mess.

I'm keeping it all to myself.

Fvck.

I feel like there's more that I should say.

But my feelings are eating me.

The emotions in me were clashing.

They're too much.

I feel too much

I'm not enough.

I will never be enough.

Fvck.

I'm happy.

But I am not happy.

I'm contented.

But I am lost.

And it got me thinking that there's no way home.

There's no home.

I wanted to cry.

But the tear won't fall.

My insides were failing.

They were falling.

I am drowning.

Fvck.

I'm a mess.

The feelings are.

The emotions are.

Fvck.

I am.

And I'll never be enough.

I'm not enough and what's eating me inside is too much.

I might just explode.

Maybe explosion would be enough.

Fvck.