Letters From Afghanistan

Letters from Afghanistan - Chapter 8

Straight after reading the letter again, I started to write my reply. I usually wait a few days before writing, to give myself time to think it over, but this time I couldn’t wait.

I knew why. The thought of talking to him over the phone scared me slightly, but above all it made me excited. Not only would I get to hear his voice, but I’d also get to ask questions without having to wait a month for a reply.

 But the main reason was clear as anything. Reading his letters already makes me feel closer to Chris, but having a conversation with him would bring me a step closer. It will also make me closer to Chase which I’m looking forward to.

As usual replying to his letter came naturally, I no longer had to think hard about it or write several copies before getting the right one. I just put the pen to paper and wrote down my thoughts.

Dear Chase,  

I’ll keep writing to you for as long as you want me too, I really enjoy reading your letters too. As I’ve already mentioned, talking to you makes me feel closer to Chris and I consider you a true friend I can depend on.

That’s why I would love to receive your phone calls too. As much as I love the letters, it’ll be nice to have a conversation that doesn’t involve waiting for a response. And I’d like to hear your voice.

You shouldn’t blame yourself, but I know it’s hard not to because I still blame myself. Not for what happened, but for what I said before hand, I should have handled it better, and I know that now. But unfortunately we can’t turn back time. No matter how much we’d like to.

I’m glad Chris didn’t tell you many bad stories about me. We were always naughty as children, all the youth workers and foster parents would call us the terrible two. I don’t think there was ever a day that went by when we weren’t up to some kind of mischief. Pulling pranks were our specialty, and we were notorious for that.

I’d like to say that he told me stories about you, but sadly he didn’t. I don’t know why, but it’s probably because he thought it’d be best to keep his army life separate from me, thinking it’d make it easier. I wish he had talked about you now. It’s not fair that you got to hear all the bad stories and I didn’t. If you two were anything like we were I imagine, you had gotten in to all sorts of trouble in training.

I’m very proud of him. I’ve actually moved his regiment photograph from his room to the living room now. I should have done it sooner, but it hurt too much to be reminded of it. Now I can look at it and feel proud of all he’s done for this country, and what you’re still doing.

I really enjoyed the night out with my friends. It felt weird after all this time staying at home and shutting them out, but it did help to take my mind of things. It made me realize that it’s okay to depend on my friends and to let them know how I’m feeling. Like you said, they can’t help me if I don’t let them.

I’m glad that writing to me is helping you let go of your grief, if there’s one thing you’ve taught me it’s that it’s bad to keep bottling things up. Now that I’m starting to let go I feel so much better and I’m able to move on with my life, I’m hoping you can too.

You can write to me any time, or call me as I’m normally always here. I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone anymore because you’re not. You’ve got me and I intend to be a good friend and help you like you’ve helped me.

Thank you, I hope my career plans all work out. I’ve now got a job at a local bookstore, and I’ll be applying to continue my studies in September. I was a year in before everything happened, I tried to carry on but I couldn’t concentrate so decided to stop. Now that I’m in the right frame of mind I really want to carry it on and finish it.