Healing Takes Time

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

I didn't know how long we stood in the doorway. I didn't care. The moment I let it all come rushing out, I grabbed onto him and held on like he was the thing anchoring me to the ground. I didn't care that his brother and uncle were watching me from the inside. I didn't care that I was shivering from the cold. But I did care.

Marco pulled away just enough to lead me inside. I was back to feeling mostly numb again. "I'm gonna get you a towel," he said, looking into to my eyes to make sure I heard him. I just swallowed and nodded.

Petra entered the room. "What's with all the--" She finally saw me standing in the doorway. "Oh, honey."

Marco appeared again and threw the towel over my head, starting to rub my hair dry. I didn't protest.

"Marco, what happened?" Her voice was muffled from the towel.

"I don't know," he replied. The towel was removed, and he snagged my hand to drag me into the bathroom. Petra trailed behind, biting her thumbnail.

He pushed me down onto the closed toilet seat. "Mom, can you get something for him to wear?" he asked as he turned around.

She nodded and left. Marco turned back to me and held my hands in his own. His face was imploring and gentle and also kinda sad, and something about that made more tears leak out of my eyes. He reached up and brushed them away, but that only made more come out. It was like all the loneliness and anger and shit was bottled up and decided to come out right this second.

Petra appeared behind Marco, and he took the clothes from her. "You can leave your wet clothes in here. I'll wash them for you," she said to me. I nodded. She left with one last lingering look.

Marco handed the clean clothes to me and said, "Put these on, and come in my room when you're done. It's two doors over. You can tell me what happened then if you want." He barely caressed my face, kissed the top of my head, and left.

I was more of a robot than a human as I got dressed. Arm out, arm out, head out. Fold the shirt. Arm in, arm in, head in, pull down. It was the same way with the pants they gave me to use.

I was silent as I left the bathroom and found the door Marco was referring to. It was open, and I walked in slowly. I may have been mostly numb, but my heart still jumped at the thought of being with Marco. In a bedroom. Alone.

I shut the door behind me. Marco looked up from the crossword puzzle book he was holding. He smiled softly and moved over to make room for me on the bed. "Hi."

I plopped down and pulled my legs up onto the bed. He was right next to me, so I let my head settle on his shoulder. He scooted closer to me. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?" he asked slowly.

Any headway I'd had on pushing my emotions back was gone. All the hurt, sadness, and loneliness rushed back to the surface.

My voice was gravely when I spoke. "I had a fight with my parents," I began, and it all came rushing out. All the anger I've felt at my parents for treating me like a child my whole life, how alone I've always felt around my peers at school, the way I always feel like I can't do anything to ever satisfy my family even though I didn't understand why I cared, the way my siblings seemed to hate me most of the time--all of it. It was like somebody had taken out the filter in my brain, and all of my thoughts and emotions just poured out of my mouth.

Marco was a really good listener. He didn't say anything at all--just let me talk. His hand ran through my hair in a soothing way, and he didn't comment when I started crying again, staining his shirt with tears all over again.

I felt good but also really stupid when I was finished. I certainly wasn't the only person feeling this kind of stuff, and I knew that there were other people that had it worse than me. Plus, I felt bad that I'd unloaded it all on Marco. We hadn't even known each other for four days, and I was already burdening him with my problems.

As if sensing what I was feeling, he said, "Thanks for trusting me."

I made a soft, confused noise.

He tugged on some of my hair absentmindedly. "You seem like the type that doesn't like to, uh, emote very much, so I know it means a lot when you do." He sighed. "I guess what I'm trying to say, is it means a lot that you trust me."

I swallowed the thickness in my throat that now had nothing to do with being frustrated over everything. When he kissed the top of my head, my heart melted, and more tears pricked at my eyes. God, what was with the waterworks today?

He noticed them and swiped them away gently. "No more tears," he said softly with a kind smile playing on his lips.

The sheer amount of kindness his was showing me caused more tears fall. I leaned forward and started kissing him all over, but it wasn't rushed or anything--it was full of thanks. I started with his forehead, then moved to his eyes, nose and cheeks. I planted the briefest kiss on his lips before I went to his neck and shoulder.

Thank you for being there. Thank you for listening. Thank you for caring. Thank you for letting me lean on you. Thank you for being so nice. Thank you for not being mad at me for crying on you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

He took it all and didn't say a word in protest. I finally got to the back of his hand when he pulled away and gathered me in another hug. Now we were both crying, me more than him.

We pulled back and started laughing when we looked at each other. "We are pathetic," he said.