counting the stars and scars

~chapter 9~

*kellin's POV*
Around 11:15 that night, I get a text from Vic telling me to look outside. I do, and I see a blue, beaten-up car and Vic standing in front of it. He is holding up a sign saying COME WITH ME. I shake my head no, knowing that if I'm caught I'll pay for it, big time. Vic erases his board and writes something else. The word FINE. He stalks back to his car and gets inside. This sends a pang of abandonment inside me, knowing he could give up so easily. But, he stands up out of the car with a bag and starts walking over to my window. I wave my arms around, telling him psychically to TURN THE FUCK AROUND.
"Hey Kellin, what's up?" Vic says, dropping his bag on my bed and turning around to face me.
"Vic, get out. Now." I say, clenching my teeth and trying not to have a panic attack. What if dad comes in here?! He'll kill me!
"Kel, you seemed so sad when I left. I couldn't stop worrying about you. I needed to see you. I need to know what the fuck is with all the cuts and bruises on you. That is not something a normal teenager has. You can tell me." Everything in me wants to tell him all of it. Just spill my guts to him and then he'll know my pain and why I'm so scared of every little movement of violence, even joking, and why it freaks the hell out of me. He won't accept you. He'll run as soon as you tell him about your own dad fucking you. He'll think you're a freak or a loser and he'll go to school and tell everyone about your little pathetic life. That's what'll happen if you tell him. It happened last time. It's going to happen again.
"Victor, I can't. I'm sorry, I want to, it's just..."
"It's just what, Kellin?" He looks so worried about me, and it's so exhilarating, even in this moment when I'm depressed and hurting and close to breaking down in front of him, I just want him to stay forever.
"Nothing. It's nothing. You, uh, you should..." I don't want him to go. My heart, my body, my mind is begging me to beg him to stay for eternity.
"Ok, I will, but only if you tell me to go." He looks me straight in the eye with those beautiful brown eyes and coerces my heart into falling to pieces. Something breaks inside me, and before I know it, we're both on the floor, you're holding me, and I'm holding back sobs.
"He... I... Victor... Sorry..." I'm just breaking down into tears and Vic has to give me a pillow because I can't hold my heartbroken sobs in anymore.
*Vic's POV*
I look into Kellin's eyes, knowing he won't tell me to go. Something clicks and he suddenly starts bawling. Oh God. He falls to the ground in front of me, holding his face in his hands, and I immediately sit down beside him and hold him. I can tell he's trying his best to hold it in for the sake of noise, and I get a pillow from the foot of the bed. He takes it and starts almost literally screaming into it, shaking and gasping for air in between screams. I've never seen someone cry so hard, and I hurt inside for him. I feel like I know pain, but the way Kellin is now tells me I'm dead wrong.
"Kellin, darling, baby, tell me. Tell me everything." I can tell he's trying but he's just too broken in this moment to say anything.
"That's ok. Tell me tomorrow. Let's lay down." He's too weak from crying to stand up on his own, so I help him and he just collapses onto the bed. He's just done. I lay down and he wraps his wiry little arms around my chest, and I pull him closer, trying to be as comforting as possible. "Just go to sleep. I'll be here in the morning."
Within minutes, Kellin's breathing evens out, besides a few after-crying shudders here and there. I notice my arm is bleeding again, but I can't do anything until tomorrow. So, I think I'll just go to sleep...