From My Beloved Heart To Your Ignorant Skull

Blissfulness Or Foolishness?

 Waiting and more holding is all my friends make me do. “Lets go wait for Daniel in front of the school Kidna.” I always refuse to go with her but at the end do, because if I don’t she will literally drag me to our destination.

Today was our Earth meeting club. I still wonder why my friends and I joined. Well, why they joined. All they always do is liter on the street. Quite weird isn’t it?

The sun heating up my back plus the black sweater I wore, not a great combination for today. While Karla searches for Daniel along side with Kimmy, I look around myself. Students walked, ran, jogged to the buses. Some all worn out due to their rough day at school, some relived, some stressing all sorts of emotions across the whole entrance. Finally seeing Daniel's face Kimmy ran up to him and hugged his neck. Karla followed her movements. Why these two girls always get emotional for him? I really don’t know. Daniel really isn’t the 'handsome' type. Just lovely eyes.

Karla grabbed my arms and tugs me forward along side with Daniel's and Kimmy's.

“Come on! We're gonna be late!” Karla ushered us along. But just then she yelled out such a familiar name it stung. “Jace! Hi Jace!” she yelled almost making him himself deaf.

“Hey Karla” Jace said smoothly, but looked past her just where I was. Karla kept blocking me from him but managed to greet me properly. A shy wave towards me was his greet. He should know better, I never bite. I smiled back at him wanting to start a conversation, to ask how his day was even though I was with him the whole entire day. But just then, a force of some sort electrified me from the outside world. My body turned numbed and my surrounding stood still.

“Hey, Hey, Hey” I heard behind me. Turning around to see the owner, a box of candy is pushed towards me without being able to react. “Wanna buy candy?” The voice asks. The only candy that laid in the box were Starburst. Knowing my school, no one likes to buy Starbursts.

“Oh, sorry I dont have mone-” I looked up and saw him.

Him.

My mind exploded with anger, burst open with flames. But my heart accepted him and spoke to him.

“Oh, you liar! I just saw money in your pocket” he teased. Teased? He never does such a thing.

“Nooo well, if you count 50 dollars then I'll buy candy.” I said playing along with his little game.

“Yeah right. Let me see then.”

“Here. Seeee?” I said flashing the folded up 50 dollar bill in front of his face. His brows furrowed and shook his head.

“Come on buy it! It's juicyyy!” said one of his friends behind him.

“No, that’s just a five dollar bill. Only five dollars.” Little Bastard....

“Alright then!” I said raising my voice. I opened up the 50 dollar bill all the way and showed it all over his damn face. “50 seeee?” I said like if he was a five year old. Well, he did gazed at it like one. He did not react to my proof. I smiled as in victory. And accepted my 50 dollar bill as truth. I nod my head and expected him to leave. To just leave me like he always does..but instead he just stood there. Like paralyzed? And so did I.

After four months of no talk at all, now is the time he decides to speak. Now. In April! He looks a bit more different from before. He cut almost half of his dull brown hair into a short hairstyle I guess due to Jrotc the military program he is in. His once light skin is a bit more darker. And a new discovery was made. He had such a slight gap between the front of his teeth. Just the slightest. But what always mesmerized me about his appearance, his existence in my life is his light blue-green eyes. The way the blue is whole and the green just swims around the blue. Just a hint. That scars both my heart, and my mind. And just about now he was looking straight into mines. Burning, digging its way into my entire soul. How could he? Only just a simple boy, make my knees feel like jelly. How? It seemed like a whole minute he absorbed my soul. Examined the 'new me' before middle school, before we ever stopped being friends. I just couldn’t stop staring into his eyes. But I felt my poor lonely soul half way out of me and I brake away the stare.

Going back into reality I look around for my friends. “Where the hell are these people?” I say out loud Jace still with me. Jace seeing all that occurred just about now...

“They went over there” he says pointing inside school property. I scowl and follow their footsteps forcefully. Just as I reach them Jace appears right next to me scaring me.

“So...You and Sebastian huh?” He says with such a tone. A mournful tone? He speaks while keeping up with my pace.

“Eh, He just wanted me to buy candy off of him. No big deal.”

“So you two did talk before....right?” Right there I wanted to ask Jace 'what was up?' Course I know he does not like Sebastian due to him ignoring me. But Jace cant change that at all. And now he is asking me all this sudden questions about him? Just for a small little chat between Sebastian and I? All of the sudden a big, bright smile was formed within my face. A big one. Exhailing the air, the fresh sweet air of such a lovely day. Jace noticed and so did Karla when I approached her.

“Soooo, I saw you talking with Sebastian,” She says with a gossipy voice. I nod. And held it in.. “What did he say?” she sang. And right there I jumped in mid air, swirled around and screamed four little words.

“HE SPOKE TO ME! HE SPOKE TO ME!” I yell on top of my lungs, holding on to the walls. Karla smiled but then the smiled vanished as her eyes dart to Jace. I look at him but still yelled of happiness.

“Um, Kidna we gotta go to the meeting” Karla finally broke my blissfulness moment. I look around and still saw Jace standing next to me, with a gloomy expression. A smile was all I could do.

“Well, bye Jace” I said waving awkwardly goodbye.

“Bye..Kidna....” And with that, he left. Still smiling I took a step forward into bliss, just then Karla is in front of me hands on her hips and shook her head.

“Bro, you shouldnt have done that,”

“Do what? Be happy?”

“No, jump around and be happy like that about Sebastian. Didn’t you see Jace's face?...Bro...”

My eyes widen and I just shivered. Shivered of guilt. She was right. How could I do that to him...?

“He may still be waiting for the bus,” She says seeing my guilt. “Wanna go check if he is?” Instantly I nod my head and ran to the bus depot. But just saw nothing. Not Jace nor Sebastian was in sight. “Well, we tried Kidna...lets go.” I nod and follow her. Like a lost abandoned puppy.

How could I do that? To Jace I mean. I know how his feelings are towards me. The many times he has told me he felt affection towards me. By poems, letters, words and actions. Everything.

As my friends ran around the halls and into the meeting room, I stood outside and opened my front book bag pocket. Took out a crumpled note card and read over and over again Jace's note. Jace's true feelings towards me...

Jace...or Sebastian?