Forgotten Friend | tomlinson

32} Love?

The past three days in America have been... peculiar, I guess you can say. There has been many up and downs throughout our experience - ketchup spilling on my white shirt, finding my first American dollar bill on the streets, and being told that I'm physically forced to stay away from my best friend. Maybe it's the country that's causing all this, or maybe it's just my messed up life.

Even with all of the dramatic corners I've been facing, I realized something I can't get out of my head; I love Louis.

I honestly don't know exactly what love feels like, to be honest, but from what I'm feeling I think that I have a pretty close call. I've spent almost my entire life with that boy, and I've never felt such a strong connection between anyone else. Yes, maybe I'm overstepping my boundaries and maybe I'm all wrong, but something just seems right when I'm with Louis.

It feels like when I'm eating a fresh batch of cookies with a cold glass of milk - I cherish every moment of it, I could to do it forever, it makes everything better, and I can't imagine doing anything else. But most importantly, I love it. All of these qualities apply to when I'm with Louis, too. And when you love someone as much as you love food, it has to be true love, right?

And although it's hard for me to admit, I love Louis more than anything - even more than cookies.

It's a weird feeling, knowing that your heart aches for that one special person and you would do anything for them. Plus, it's also quite scary, to have that little thought in the back of your mind, reminding you that the person you love could leave you or its just not meant to be.

But in the past three days when I realized I'm in love, I've also grown to learn that it is also one of the most magical feelings you can get. Just the butterflies you get when you think about them, or the smile on your face when you hear their voice, and maybe just remembering that their in you life and that's all you can ask for. It's nice to know that you care for someone that much, and they might just feel the same about you.

Love comes with a lot of things - more than you asked for, good and bad. In my case, I believe it as part of the experience. With all the emotions and thoughts in your mind you just can't get rid of, and it's weird.

I never thought of myself to fall in love, actually. Throughout my life, I wasn't the most likable person you can ask for. I was always second choice and I never had that many friends either, but it didn't bother me though. I just thought of my life as to pursue a stable career, find a good living area, and make money to make your family happy.

So when I suddenly had the wave of love wash over me - or at least when I realized it - it took me by surprise, causing all these assumptions to come with along.

What sucks the most though, is that my lover is currently off limits... and I can't do anything about it.

I like to think of it as Romeo and Juliet, but without the brutal ending.

Sometimes I think Louis and I aren't meant to be - I mean, everything is going against us and we can't fix it. Even if we do fix it, it seems like another problem comes again. If we were suppose to be together, why is there so many obstacles in the way?

But then again, if we weren't meant to be together, then fate would have never let him step into Starbucks after hours, on that memorable night. Fate wouldn't have made me run into him multiple times, even when I was trying to avoid him. Fate wouldn't have let me know that Louis truly cares about me, no matter what happens.

Maybe fate does want us to be together.

After all we've been through, we're still together - not physically, but passionately. We've gone through thick and thin, yet we're still together.