Twined with You

Arranged Marriage With A Wolf Chapter 29

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Arranged Marriage with a Wolf Chapter 29

The world turns dark. I can hear nothing but silence. There’s a black sorority coming out of me through the opening in my chest. I feel it eating me bits by bits. It is excruciatingly nibbling me, leaving the soul for its own. I can see myself as an empty town, where empty building shrieks loneliness.

“Spence… You need to come down. Everybody’s here already. Sean’s here already.” Mom called me from the other side of the door. I wake up from my sleep, feeling more tired than before. Sweat secreted from my pores out of my anxiousness.

The sky is dark already, hearing Mom said about dinner time, I must have slept for some hours. I grab the door knob to help me get up slowly. Great, now my clothes are all crumpled. I can’t show up with this. “I’ll be down in a sec. I need to change my clothes.”

“Do you need help? I can help you change… You know, it will hurt maybe…” She offered worried.

I smile and let go a small sigh, “It’s okay, Mom. I have everything under control. Really, it’s no big deal.”

“But…” She insisted then let it go, “Okay, just don’t look into the mirror first. I’ll be waiting for you downstairs.” I can hear her footpath going down the staircase.

I lock the door then open my dresser. I take out a shirt and unzip my jacket. The nurse won’t let me use my bra. She advised an under garment like camisole. Mom should look under our pile of clothes to find a camisole with a line of buttons so I can open it without struggling to pull it off. I throw my jacket to my bed and unbutton the garment.

I wonder why Mom told me not to look at the mirror. Let’s find out why.

My curiosity drives me to the mirror. I look at my revealed torso. I can see a thick dark brown line between my breasts. It’s not only a line, but it looks… hideous. I feel like my breath stops. The line grows bigger and bigger each second I look at it. There are few more scars next to it that doesn’t need stitches but still very visible.

The thickest line looks like a caterpillar from the stitches done. Choked breath punch my throat to make its way out but somehow, though the punch is very strong, it won’t come out. This only causes greater pain. My eyes are still locked with my wound. Even I feel disgust and horror, this wound haunts my mind, pushing everything I ate this morning back to my throat. I feel sick. I can’t imagine what Sean will say if he looks at this.

I’m a girl. The knowledge of my body as a priceless thing is very clear for me. I remember Mom telling me to keep it as smooth as porcelain, but this, this is worse than a crack in porcelain. Who would want this? Who would even want to stare at it? 

I won’t be able to be in my bikini without showing this scar. I won’t be able to spend summer in tank top without showing this scar. I won’t be able to wear those things without making people grossed out or pitied me.

The feelings just storm my mind. I feel ashamed, disgusted, horrified and afraid of myself.

In my own prison of grief, I can hear the knock on my door, “Spence… Are you in here?” Sean’s voice evokes my tears to roll down.

With sobs in my voice, I answer him, “Go away, Sean…”

“Spence, what happened? Spence… Tell me what’s wrong…” I could sense worry and sadness in his voice.”